Christmas In The World That Never Was
by Powwo
Summary: Organization XIII decides to celebrate Christmas in The World That Never Was but things won't go that smoothly... AU, slight Larxene/Marluxia & Naminé/Roxas
1. Plans (I'm Going Crazy)

_A/N: Hello, my fellow Kingdom Hearts fans. I decided to translate my 10 year old KH fanfic into English (FINALLY) and yes, the theme is Christmas. I originally wrote this as a Christmas fanfic on a Finnish Kingdom Hearts forum and I couldn't wait until autumn to start releasing this. I want to keep publishing something now that my other fanfic for another fandom is on indefinite hiatus and I thought that translating and publishing this story would be the best thing to do. :)_

 _I do not own these characters nor the locations they are in. Those belong to Square Enix and Walt Disney Interactive. I only own this stupid storyline. :D_

 **Christmas In The World That Never Was**

 **Chapter 1: Plans (I'm Going Crazy!)**

The mighty leader Xemnas sat on a arm chair only suitable for his status in this organization. He looked at the other members – excluding Xigbar, who still hasn't appeared – who were sitting in their chairs that only represented members' weapons' colors. Of course, there were few others present in the conference room as well. They were keeping an eye on the Organization XIII to make sure they wouldn't make anything stupid. Their guests didn't sit anywhere. They stood on the sidelines.

Everyone was quiet; usually everyone was babbling nonsense and Xemnas had a hard time to make them listen to him – and he was supposed to be their leader for heaven's sake! Not even Demyx was playing with his... sitar, was it? Of course, the mighty leader was very glad about it because he secretly hated Demyx's music.

"Stop looking at me like that, Xemmy", Demyx finally said. "It's disturbing..."

Xemnas really hated that nickname. It was almost as bad as the other one Axel had come up with and even just thinking about them made him furious.

"How many times have I told you to not to use that nickname in the last eight years, Demyx?" he asked.

"Exactly 2,920 times", Xaldin said as he put his Hello Kitty pocket calculator back into his pocket.

"It's a great hobby for Xemnas", Larxene piped up. "And I truly love it when others suffer", she added, smiling.

"This madness has to end!" Xemnas interrupted as he shot a death glare towards Demyx, who had eventually started to play something on his sitar.

"Excuse me, but what was the subject of this meeting?" Zexion asked.

"It was Christmas", said Roxas from underneath the table. He was sitting on a stool that was so small that he couldn't look anyone straight into face nor could nobody sitting around the table see nothing else but a bit of his head.

"Christmas is stupid and we won't even get presents", Saïx told everyone.

"I bet we do", Axel said.

"Explain."

"Because we deserve it."

"Ask Lexaeus to be the Santa Claus then, Axel."

"He's way too quiet to be Santa!"

"Axel, coulda plz shut up, y'know?" Vexen said. "I was just about to figure out why we're so obsessed with Christmas."

Axel only snorted as a answer.

"I'm just gonna say at once that I'm not going to get the Christmas Tree", Zexion informed them.

Xemnas sighed, and laid his forehead against the table surface. "This isn't gonna work out... What have I done to deserve this?"

"I don't know but I have a perfect idea of what we could do", Vexen told everyone, grinning like a maniac.

"And what could that be, another one of your weird experiments in the basement, Vexen?" Larxene said.

"A Christmas Party", Vexen said.

"What, no!" Xemnas yelled. "You're supposed to be a scientist!"

"I think his idea is awesome", Axel said.

"Obviously the rest of your gang of criminals agrees?" Xemnas asked him in a mocking tone.

Zexion, Axel, Roxas – who's head only hit the edge of the table – and Demyx nodded.

"In that case you can make plans for the party then", Xemnas said, grinning. This stupid club was too easy to lure into doing something he wanted.

"What the hell?!" Axel said, looking livid.

"Of course, everyone else will help you. Although since I'm the leader, I don't need to do anything."

"By the way, when will my awesome silver chair be finished?" Roxas asked from underneath the table. "I don't want to stay here all the time. Your feet smell bad."

"Why don't you just stand up then, Roxas?" ased Luxord while going through his cards and then turned his attention to Marluxia. "Wanna play some poker, Marluxia?"

Marluxia looked at him suspiciously.

"Oh, c'mon!" Luxord said. "I promise I won't cheat like I did last time. You did lose all your money after all, right?"

"Exactly and I have no interest in losing the 50 munny that I stole from Zexion's wallet yesterday..."

"Oh, so it was you who did it", Zexion sighed. "My munny's not safe here anymore..."

"Ah, finally some peace", Xemnas said once he had ended the meeting in the conference room and was walking through the empty corridors of the castle the Organization XIII had built for themselves.

"I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Why did I agree on having a Christmas party here? Since when have we been celebrating Christmas?!" he murmured as he went. He noticed that the walls already had Christmas decorations on them. When had they been put on anyway?

"Also, why in the _hell_ can't I open my door?!" he murmured when he reached the area where his room was located. Sadly, the door was stuck and didn't open. He was sure that this was Axel's and Roxas' doing. Those two were always doing pranks on everyone!

"I hope someone takes you two to a insane asylum and never lets you out...!" he said as he tried to open the door by force.

That was a mistake – the door flew out of its frame into Xemnas' room and the mighty leader himself crashed into the wall on the opposite side of the corridor with the door handle in his left hand.

"You miserable little...!" Xemnas shouted once he had gotten over the surprise.

"What are you shouting here for?" asked Xigbar, who was standing in the middle of the doorway. He was holding his gun.

"What are you doing here, Xigbar?" Xemnas asked.

"I'm not sure. I just somehow found myself in your room", he answered and stepped into the corridor. Xemnas was horrified at the sight of the messy room – also, there was nothing but a huge hole in the wall where the window was supposed to be located.

"I wish Vexen would lock down that damn closet where he keeps those explosives of his so that stupid group of Axel's wouldn't destroy my room!" Xemnas ranted on as he took a step away from the wall behind him. The wall had a pithole on it that was shaped exactly as Xemnas' profile was.

"What gang?" Xigbar asked. "Axel has a gang? Awesome. How do you join it?"

"How am I supposed to know? Go ask him!" Xemnas said as he entered the ruins of his room. Xigbar shrugged and walk away. As he went he cursed at few Dusks that had frightened him, followed by a sound of gunshots and his laugh.

"That guy has went crazy..." Xemnas murmured as he climbed into his bed – or mattress, which was pretty much the only thing that hadn't been destroyed yet – and snuggled closer to a pink heart shaped pillow. He fell asleep while sucking his right thumb.

When Xemnas stepped into the conference the next day, the first thing he saw was Naminé and Roxas talking to each other. There was nobody else present in the room. Xemnas closed the door so loudly that it scared the two youngsters to the point that they screamed for horror.

"What the hell?!" Roxas yelled, looking furious.

"Big Foot, you don't have enough status to talk with Naminé", Xemnas told him.

"And what's this status I have again?" Naminé asked. "I don't have a rank, Xemnas."

"I'm confused now", Roxas said.

"What I meant to say is that you need to stop taking bombs from Vexen's lab, kid", Xemnas said.

"Or what?"

"I will fire you", Xemnas said.

"Xemnas, why are you throwing threats at Roxas?" asked Xaldin, who had appeared out of nowhere. And before Xemnas could even answer him, other members of the Organization came in one by one.

"Xigbar asked me how to join Axel's gang. What's going on here?" Saïx greeted everyone as he sat down.

"I believe it's Christmas making him behave in a very disturbing way", Xaldin said.

"When did DiZ come here?" Roxas asked, pointing at the space behind Xemnas' chair.

"I just walked in. You're all blind because you didn't see me", DiZ answered, turned around and joined Naminé, who was sitting on a windowsill and drew something on a huge paper pad.

"Who the _hell_ told Xigbar about my gang?!" yelled Axel from the corridor.

"I know I didn't", Demyx answered. "What about you, Zexion?"

"I don't talk about stuff like this with other people, Demyx", dark haired boy answered.

"What if it was Roxas then?"

"I doubt it."

Trio walked into the room and looked around, spotted Roxas – who was looking at Naminé like a lovesick puppy – and and walked to him.

"Roxas, would you like to tell us who was that idiot who told Xigbar about our gang?" Axel asked.

"Not me. Maybe it was Xaldin?" Roxas answered before returning to worship Naminé.

"I'm not even interested in anything you do", Xaldin said. "My bet is on Marluxia", he added while pointing at pink haired man who had just walked in.

"Marluxia, what the hell have you done...!" Axel began.

"Wait, what have I done again?" Marluxia asked, looking confused. He dodged Axel's attack that came his way. Redhead's chakraim went through the wall. They were all able to hear a feminine scream that followed it.

"Axel... It was nice knowing you", Roxas said.

"You think I'm scared of the Electric Shock Lady? Nonsense", Axel shrugged.

Larxene came into the room, but unlike Roxas had predicted, she didn't attack Axel. She just went to her chair and sat down. Soon after that Luxord, Xigbar and Lexaeus came in as well.

"Oh hell no", Axel said as he saw Xigbar's expression.

"Alright then!" Xemnas said and sat down to his chair. "Now that we're all here –"

The door to the conference room reopened and Sora, Kairi and Riku came in. All of them were wearing Christmas Elf hats and they were laughing. Luckily, they went quiet the moment they saw Xemnas' murderous glare and joined DiZ and Naminé. They took their memos out of their pockets and Xemnas could only regret that he had awoken that morning.

"As I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted", Xemnas said and shot another glare towards the trio of friends. He then turned his attention back to the Organization. "Since you have already started to decorate the castle with Christmas decorations, we should just continue at it and get this over and done with."

"Who's gonna get the Tree?" Zexion asked at once.

"We'll decide that via lottery", Xemnas decided. "And our annoying guests will join this too."

"HELL YEAH!" Sora yelled.

 _I really, really hate this kid,_ Xemnas thought.

"Sora, shut the hell up", Riku said. "Christmas turns you into this annoying little kid."

"But it's Christmas, Riku!"

"I know, and I'm not gonna get the Tree."

"You're such a coward", Sora said grinning.

"I'm not gonna get a smelly tree. My fabulous hair gets ruined", Riku said.

"LE HAIR!?" Marluxia said. "Nobody cares about your ugly hair!"

"Oh hell", Larxene said, "Hair can't be the most important thing in your life, Marluxia."

"Could you all just shut up?!" Naminé yelled. "I can't concentrate!"

"You can decide the pairs then", Xemnas told her. _Ha, this means I don't need to do anything. I can just sit here and –_

"Are your brains on vacation, Xemnas?" DiZ interrupted the mighty leader.

"Oh hell, don't you dare to start critisizing, too", Xemnas sighed.

"Okay then", Naminé said. "Vexen, Demyx, Sora and Zexion can go get the tree –"

"I just said I don't want to go get the tree, woman!" Zexion protested.

"Deal with it, Zexion", Naminé said. "As for the presents, I'd say Larxene, Xaldin and Axel can go buy them for everyone. Make sure you keep your money away from Marluxia though. Also, since you'll probably have to carry a lot of stuff so Xigbar can join you as well."

"You're a cruel woman, Naminé!" Axel propested.

"And the rest of you will decorate the castle. Of course, that doesn't include me since I'm an artist under a influence of inspiration", Naminé said, ignoring Axel completely.

"How can you be so cruel?" Axel asked.

"Ask Roxas."

"Roxas?"

"I'm not telling you anything because she'll erase me from existence somehow", Roxas said.

"Shut up and move!" Xemnas told them. "We don't have much time and nobody's interested in your discussion!"

"Fine, fine. Don't be so overly stressed over this, dude", Axel told him as he and others walked out of the room while Sora sung carols.

"I guess we should continue with decorations then", Xemnas said as the door to the conference room closed behind the group.

"I think we should clean up first", Riku said.

"But that's gonna take us the whole night", Luxord protested. "I can't play poker now."

"I'm not sorry about that", Xemnas told him. "Now, get to work, people!"

Everyone stood up from their chairs and walked out of the room. Xemnas turned around to face Naminé, who was now working on a painting in a trance.

"You need to clean up the place, too, Naminé", he told her.

"But I said I'm not going to do anything", Naminé answered as she used red paint so fiercely that it splashed on walls and on the floor as well. And she didn't care.

"You're gonna do exactly what I tell you if you're gonna be invited to the party, Naminé!"

"Well, I guess we'll just have to wait and see then", Naminé said, grabbed the painting with her and walked out of the conference room looking pissed. Xemnas noticed the trail of paint following her and groaned. It's gonna take forever for them to clean up the carpet in the room.

"How am I supposed survive this madness?" Xemnas murmured.

 _A/N: Here's chapter one. Next one will be written in Xigbar's point of view and will be posted later this week. Hopefully. :D_

 _Also, I have to tell you that Xion nor the characters from Birth By Sleep aren't going to make an appearance in this story because this was written years before 358/2 Days and Birth By Sleep were released. But if I write more of these parody stories, these characters will definitely be used. :)_


	2. Shoot! (Christmas Shopping)

_A/N: Here's a new chapter for this crazy story. Despite of not being given any reviews, I will continue posting these chapters until the story is finished._

 _I do not own any of these characters or the locations present in this story. They are all property of Square Enix and Walt Disney Interactive._

 **Chapter 2: Shoot! (Christmas Shopping)**

"Why are these streets so slippery?!" Xigbar shouted after falling on his butt for the thousandth time. He slided down the street until he reached the others who were just looking at the sales on Item Shop's window. Xigbar had fell on his butt so many times today that he didn't care if he looked stupid sitting cross legged and arms crossed over his chest while sliding down the street.

"You should have put different boots on", Axel told him.

"Let me join your gang, Axel", Xigbar said as he stood up.

"I said no!"

"But I'd really love to be a part of that gang."

"Sorry, but we don't need any more members. We like to be a gang of four members", Axel said and poked Xigbar on his chest. Somehow Xigbar found himself falling on his butt again.

"Oh, this really hurts", he said.

"Get up, idiot", Larxene said. "Or I'll make you..." she added while grinning like a lunatic while she took her kunais out of her bottomless pockets. Xigbar was smart enough to do exactly what she said because Larxene always went over the top with her sadistic antics. Larxene looked amused as she put her weapons away and turned around to look at the items on sale.

"This town is too colorful. I'd prefer to have it in different shades of black", Xigbar said.

"I doubt Roxas will approve your critisism towards this place", Axel mumbled.

"Pfft, that kid ain't nothing against me!"

"Are you pissed off or something, Xigbar?" Xaldin asked. "You know, I'm pretty sure that club membership thing isn't even worth the trouble."

"You think I'm pissed? As if!"

"Hey, I think Xemnas might like this teddy bear. Look, it has a heart in his lap", Larxene said and then took a deep inhale. "How in hell can this bear be on sale for 500 munny?! This has to be a mistake!"

"I bet you just didn't read it right", Axel said.

"Well then, Mr. Best Eyesight Ever, look yourself", Larxene said.

Axel took the bear into his hands and looked at the price tag which had made Larxene turn white and start recounting her munny. Axel swore quite hard as he saw the price for the teddy bear and opened his mouth to say something but closed it. He put the bear back to the huge basket with the other stuffed animals and then proceeded to hide the sickeningly cute teddy bear underneath the other toys.

"Where did you put the teddy bear, Axel?" Larxene asked after she had finished counting her munny.

"We are not buying a gift that expensive for Xemnas", Axel told her firmly.

"Let me look at it again..." Larxene said and dug the bear from the mountain of stuffed animals. Teddy bear was a white one. It had big brown eyes and a cute smile on its face. It was holding a red heart that has a text of _I Love_ You on it in white text. Xigbar was disgusted by this bear. Were they seriously considering on buying something like this for _Xemnas_?

"That price really does worry me", Xaldin commented. He turned his attention towards the seller. "Do you think you could sell this to us with a lower price?"

"N-No... I don't think s-s-so..." seller said, trying her best to look brave in front of her customers, who were considered to be villains by so many people – which Xigbar didn't understand at all. They were so sweet!

"Could we go now?" asked Lexaeus, who was shivering in cold even though he was wearing more clothes than the other members in the group. "I think it's -50 degrees here..."

"To you all types of weather is cold", Xaldin said. "Besides, it's not even that cold here. Are you sure you're not having some kind of a disease?"

Xigbar agreed. "You should get that checked by that doctor guy..."

"I'm not going anywhere near Vexen. The last time he tried to put me to sleep so he could cut me open", Lexaeus said.

"Then you should just keep yourself on the move", Xigbar said.

"I don't feel like sliding down the icy streets unlike you've been doing, Xigbar."

"I'm gonna buy this damn bear!" Larxene interrupted. "I don't care about this price. At least Xemnas will have this to cuddle with instead of that ragged heart shaped pillow of his..."

"But we were only given 5,000 munny for the presents", Axel protested. "And there're still places we need to go."

"I honestly give no fucks", Larxene said fiercely as she gave up the munny to the seller. "And Axel, never question my choices or you'll regret it..." she added as she put Xemnas' gift into one of the gift bags.

"And if I do, what're you gonna do?" Axel said.

 _Dude, what the hell are you trying?!_ Xigbar thought as Larxene's eyes flashed in a very familiar way. Her temper was definitely at its limit. Xigbar noticed his eyes were looking around the place in order to find a popcorn stand so he could buy some and enjoy the storm that was about to begin between Larxene and Axel. Of course, Xigbar would cheer on his hero, Axel.

"I think we should leave and go to Traverse Town", Xaldin said, preventing the battle from beginning. "We aren't going to find all the presents from this town anyway."

"Well, who's gonna get these home then?" Larxene asked.

"Lexaeus of course."

"Why me?" Lexaeus asked.

"Because that's the job Naminé gave you, remember?"

"Oh yeah, I kinda forgot."

 _This guy has always seemed to be kinda stupid,_ Xigbar thought. How had Lexaeus got himself into the Organization and so high on the ranks? Xigbar had no idea how that was even possible. He had wanted to ask about it from Xemnas many times, but the mighty leader was on a verge of a complete breakdown 24/7. He even hit his head on the table in almost every meeting the Organization had.

"I think we should get all the presents before Lexa takes them home", Axel hastily said. "Then he doesn't need to go back too many times."

"You do have a point", Larxene said. "I thought you were stupid but it seems to me that you're actually quite smart."

"Wow, a compliment from Larxene. Did I wake up in a alternate reality where you're actually nice?"

"Don't push it, redhead. You're still annoying enough for me to slap across the face", Larxene told him and turned her attention to everyone else. "Should we go now?"

"We totally should", Xaldin agreed and everyone nodded as a answer.

But once they began to walk towards the back alley where they had come from using a dark portal, Xigbar stumbled on the icy street and fell – again. This time he fell on his face and his tongue got stuck onto the ice.

"Xigbar, you're hopeless!" Larxene yelled and facepalmed.

"Help me ged rid of dis!" Xigbar yelled and tried to rip his tongue off the ice with no success. "I'm stug!"

"Hey, Axel, I think you should be able to help him out", Xaldin told the redhead. "Melt the ice."

Xigbar couldn't help but think of those horrible moments of how Axel's fire would accidentally grill Xigbar's tongue along with the ice and began to feel panicked.

"Alrighty then", Axel said snapping his fingers. A fireball appeared on his hand. "This won't take long, Xigbar. Just stay still..." he added and began to lower the ball down closer to the ice surface.

Xigbar felt how panic took over him and he tried to get rid of the ice by ripping his tongue off the ice but it still didn't help.

"I'll be careful, Xigbar! Stay still!" Axel said.

"Don'd pud dat close do me!" Xigbar tried to say.

"Oh, c'mon, man. Stop being a pussy."

Axel put the fireball on the ice surface, and it began to melt at once. Xigbar, however, was eyeing the fireball closely because it was so close to his tongue. However, nothing happened. Soon Axel stood up and Xigbar noticed that there was no ice anywhere anymore and pulled his tongue into his mouth and stood up.

"This is awesome. Now that you've helped me –" he began hopefully.

"No, you're not a member of my gang", Axel interrupted. "I may reconsider once I've spoken with others, got it memorized?"

"Yes. I'm not that stupid", Xigbar told him.

"Okay, now that Xigbar is OK, we should leave", Xaldin said as the group began to walk towards the back alley – with Xigbar trying to keep his mouth protected so he wouldn't stumble and get stuck on ice again.

"Shouldn't we go to Christmas Town first?" Axel asked.

"I wanna go to a bar", Lexaeus said at the same time.

"Is that all you think about, Lexaeus?" Larxene scolded him. "Also, I think we should go to Christmas Town after we've visited Traverse Town."

"No, Larxene. I do think about many different things. Right now I'd like to drink some hot gogg because I'm successfully freezing to death", Lexaeus answered, rolling his eyes.

"Whatever", Larxene shot back.

"I wanna go to the Traverse Town, too!" Xigbar said.

"Traverse Town it is then, oh gosh", Larxene said, rolling her eyes. Then she proceeded to walk again, following the path to the back alley. Lexaeus looked at the bar nearby with longing look in his eyes and then he followed Larxene – mumbling something about "I will get my glogg before this ends, just you wait and see, Electric Woman", as he went.

Traverse Town was something that Xigbar hadn't expected. He had been expecting a place covered in snow but there was nothing. However, citizens of the town had covered every house with Christmas decorations – which made Xigbar wonder how decorating was going at home. He was pretty sure that Xemnas was on the verge of losing his mind and Saïx – who stayed with him at all times – would try to keep Xemnas together.

His thinking was interrupted by his collision with a lamp post. He held his nose with his other hand while he felt like he saw stars with his only eye. With other hand he held onto the lamp post to prevent himself from losing balance.

"Xigbar, you need to watch where you're walking. You've messed up enough times already", Lexaeus told him.

"It wasn't my fault that the lamp post jumped in my way", Xigbar said and once he was sure he could walk straight again, he walked towards others who were just trying to choose presents for Marluxia and Zexion.

"How can you tell that Marluxia won't like this, Axel?" Larxene was just asking. She was holding up a keychain that had a shape of a skull and was silver colored.

"Marluxia likes cherries and cherry flowers, Larxene. He's not a fan of death", Axel said. "And that is a skull, not a cherry."

"He might like a bit of change though", Larxene said.

"He's obsessed with cherries", Xaldin defended Axel. "He always wants me to make him cherry porridge."

"See, Larxene? He's obsessed and everyone else but you knows it", Axel said grinning.

"We'll never get anywhere soon", Xaldin said, sounding annoyed. "We'll still be here when everyone else has finished their tasks and I need to get back home to start planning my Christmas menu."

"We'll find a solution soon", Axel promised. "So, Larxene..."

"What if you buy the skull keychain for Zexion and the cherry one for Marluxia?" Xigbar suggested. He also wanted to leave this boring town as soon as possible for two reasons – one being the Christmas Town and other being the fact that he wanted to see how the others were doing at home.

"I can't believe it", Larxene said, "Xigbar just solved our problem."

"No need to thank me", Xigbar said while Larxene took the keychains and paid them up to the seller. Xigbar did wonder why in hell was this seller selling his stuff outside in winter? Especially when his shop was located right behind him.

"I got locked outside", man answered when Xigbar asked him about it. Seller actually blushed a little bit in shame.

"Sounds a little bit of that time when Xemnas locked himself outside and we noticed it in the morning..." Axel murmured.

"Okay", Larxene then said. "We will divide into two groups and buy presents for DiZ, Vexen, Naminé and Kairi. Axel and Xigbar, you'll go buy presents for Naminé and Vexen while me, Lexaeus and Xaldin will go look for presents for DiZ and Kairi. We'll meet here in 5 hours."

"Since when were you even made a leader?" Axel complained.

"Since the day I was born", Larxene said. "Now, go."

"Fine then, woman! Next time I will make sure I won't be in the same group with you then!" Axel said as he and Xigbar began to walk towards the weapons shop – Xigbar himself was pretty sure that a place that didn't have anything Naminé would want but decided to stay quiet. But in all honesty Naminé was still a pretty easy person to buy a present for. It was Vexen who was the real mystery. What would a mad scientist want as a present?

 _A/N: There it is. Chapter 2. In the next chapter you'll get to know how things go with Xaldin, Lexaeus and Larxene because it's Xaldin's turn to tell the story. :D_


	3. Travelling (Where's My Money?)

_A/N: Time for another update. And lol, I knew very well that I might be posting this 10 years too late because these Organization XIII parody/humor stories used to be popular back then and these days they're not. But I'll keep posting this anyway because I want to. I don't care if I don't get reviews. At least I can practice my translator skills a bit with this story. XD_

 _I do not own any of these characters of the locations for this story. They belong to Square Enix and Walt Disney Interactive. Storyline, however, is my own creation._

 **Chapter 3: Travelling (Where's My Money!?)**

"It's so hard to come up with a gift idea for Demyx..." mumbled Larxene. "Any ideas?"

"A guitar, perhaps?" Lexaeus suggested.

"I doubt he needs a new one."

"He's using a sitar, not a guitar", Xaldin said.

"It looks like a guitar to me", Lexaeus said and put down two huge gift bags he had been carried. Then he stretched his back until everyone wee able to hear a loud crack. It was like a thunderstorm. The glass and the lamp itself on the closest lamp post both shattered into pieces because of that sound. Xaldin and others looked at the pieces on the ground, wondering how could this be possible.

"How were you able to make your back crack so loudly?" he asked and wondered if he will lose his hearing if Lexaus was to crack his back again. Nobody – however – answered this very important question.

They did have a problem with the gifts after all – Demyx and Sora. Neither of them had ever said anything of what they might want as gifts. Xaldin thought that elf hats would be perfect gifts for them. At least Sora would get really excited – sometimes he even got so overly excited that he accidentally hit Saïx with his keyblade. Xaldin remembered how blue haired lunatic chased after Sora for a month after such a occurence. The chase ended with both of them passing out in the fiftieth floor of nobodies' castle. They had ran the course from the first to the top floor many, many times in a row – Xaldin had counted 75 times.

"Earth to Xaldin. Does Xaldin respond?" Larxene asked and snapped her fingers few times in front of his face. She seemed to be in a very good mood – probably because Xigbar and Axel were out of her sight.

"Sorry. I was thinking about stuff. What did you say?" Xaldin asked.

"Where did you put our money?" Larxene asked. "And don't even dare to say Xigbar has them."

"I doubt it", Xaldin said.

"Lexaeus, do you have out money?"

"Nope."

"Maybe Xaldin stole our money?" Xaldin suggested. "Although I doubt he'd be that stupid."

"Although he could be exactly that stupid 'cause I did steal your money", said a voice. Xaldin felt something hit him on the back of his head, and then heard a jingling noise as the money fell to the ground from the pouch.

"Ouch, that hurt", Xaldin said, massaging the spot where the money pouch had hit him. He turned around to see Axel, who was grinning like a idiot. Xigbar was holding onto the gift bag that included gifts for the people they we were ordered to buy those to.

"You slowpokes still couldn't find us gifts?" Axel asked.

"When did you steal our money?" Larxene shot back.

"I bribed a kid to steal it from you when you had paid a gift for someone."

"We had our reasons to steal the money", Xigbar said, defending his hero.

 _Why is a guy who's so many years younger his hero...?_ Xaldin asked himself.

"I'd love to hear this reason", Larxene said. She was trying her best to keep calm, but everyone present knew that a storm would start at once when Axel did or said something wrong. Xaldin also noticed that Axel was being very alarmed and was definitely thinking of how to say what he needed to say so Larxene wouldn't kill him.

"You just forgot to give us money, Larxene", Axel finally said. "And when we went back to where we started, you weren't there anymore so I bribed a kid to track you down and steal your money."

"I see. Maybe I'll forgive you this time but make sure this won't happen again or else..." Larxene told him, and began to pick up the money.

"So, where are we going next?" Xaldin asked.

"Isn't it obvious that we're going to Christmas Town next?" Larxene asked as she straightened up and put the money pouch into her bottomless pockets – they were called that because the endless space. Xaldin didn't know who had come up with them but he knew that they were useful because he could put his lances into them.

 _Although I don't know why these people are carrying those gift bags when we could just put the gifts into our pockets..._ Xaldin wondered as they walked towards Larxene's lightning bolt shaped spaceship – Xaldin didn't know why she had that when she could just use the corridors of darkness for transportation – and went in. Axel was jumping everywhere with a happy grin on his face.

"What's up with him?" Xaldin asked.

"He found some salted liquorice and got messed up", Xigbar answered.

"Wait... what...?"

"Didn't you know? Axel doesn't get messed up on alcohol. He gets messed up by salted liquorice."

"How can he get so messed up by salted liquorice?"

"Ask him, although I doubt you'll get the answer", Xigbar said while looking at Axel who was now murmuring to himself in the corner something about small green goblins. "He also said I may be qualified enough to join his gang after all! This is the BEST DAY EVER."

"Oh for the fuck's sake!" Xaldin said. "I can't believe you're so low that you gotta join his stupid gang of thieves! Their daily job is to break into Vexen's lab and steal bombs from there!"

"That's awesome! I'm definitely going to join the gang now!" Xigbar said, looking more excited than Xaldin would have liked him to look.

 _I don't like the way this is going,_ Xaldin thought as he put down his gift bag next to the one Lexaeus had been carrying. _And how did I become a carrier of a gift bag anyway? It makes no sense!_ He added as he sat down on one of the chairs as the ship rose into the air. Xaldin thought he should just take a nap because the journey to Christmas Town would take four hours – and maybe then Axel's moment of being high on salted liquorice would have ended as well.

When Xaldin exited the spaceship few hours later, he looked around him. He liked how dark his surroundings looked like. Just like in some kind of a Halloween horror movie. Even Xigbar looked like he approved the darkness. However, Xaldin couldn't help but wonder if the group had came to the wrong place because their destination was Christmas Town. This dark place definitely wasn't very christmassy.

"It's not a tree, it's a statue, Vexen!" said a voice from few meters away. Xaldin recognized it as Sora.

"I think it looks like a Christmas Tree, boy, and it's good", said another familiar voice – Vexen.

"You're right, it's a tree, but it's also a picture on the surface of a tree", said another familiar voice – Zexion.

Xaldin was curious to see what they were talking about and followed the arguing voices.

"Xaldin, where are you going?" Xigbar asked.

"I heard Zexion's voice coming from there", Xaldin answered while looking behind his shoulder. He noticed that Xigbar and others were following him. Did they think Xaldin knew where to go? Because he obviously didn't!

Once Xaldin had been able to guide everyone through the forest, he found himself standing in a clearing that was as dark as the rest of the forest. However, he saw Demyx and Zexion sitting on the ground with a bonfire in front of them and they were frying sausages in sticks. There was also used plastic wraps everywhere around them.

 _I wonder how long have they been here,_ Xaldin wondered as he looked at the two guys. They looked so bored and annoyed at the same time. Who knows how long they had been here. Sora tried to convince Vexen that the picture on the tree behind the two campers wasn't a real Christmas Tree. Keyblade bearer wasn't very successful in his attempts.

"What the hell is going on here?" Larxene asked as Axel bounced over to Demyx and Zexion. He was soon followed by Xigbar, who looked just as high as Axel was.

"And why are you here?" asked Zexion in a bored tone.

"We're buying gifts for you, idiots", Larxene said as she looked at Xigbar and Axel who were now bouncing in a circle around Demyx and Zexion while singing carols.

"And you two, stop this instant!" blonde woman ordered them.

Axel and Xigbar didn't care. They just kept switched the song and kept singing – badly off key as well, Xaldin noticed.

 _Well, their singing talents has always sucked real bad,_ he thought.

"What the hell have you given to these two?" Demyx asked.

"Salted liquorice is so good!" sang Axel.

"I agree~", Xigbar chorused.

"You gave them salted liquorice?" Zexion asked and punched Axel at his knee. Redhead fell on his face onto the ground. Xigbar stumbled on him, did a sormersault and crashing at Vexen who hit his head on the tree he was looking at and the picture on the tree opened!

"Oh, I knew it was a door!" Vexen cried while he laid on the doorway, half of him out and half of him inside. "Wow, it's winter on the other side!" he added and crawled through the door.

"Finally we get down to business", Zexion sighed. He ate the last piece of his sausage and stood up. Demyx put the fire down and then they picked up the plastic wraps and put them into their coats' bottomless pockets.

"We sat here about 10 hours before you came", Demyx said as he woke Axel – who was sleeping on the ground – up by using a splash of water.

"Who's attacking us!?" Axel yelled as he jumped up. "Dusks, get them!" he added while pointing at Xaldin, who just raised his eyebrow at him.

"You should lay off that salted liquorice, Axel", he said.

"What!?" Axel yelled. "Dusks, get him!"

Xaldin couldn't help but think how much Xemnas there was in Axel's behavior right now. Salted liquorice definitely did not suit the redhead at all.

"Oh, Axel... That's Xaldin..." Larxene mumbled.

"...What?" Axel mumbled. He shook his head. "Xaldin...?"

"Are you still going to fight me? I'm stronger than you so I'd mop the floor with your ugly hair", Xaldin told him.

"How did I end up here? Didn't nobody tell you that I get messed up when I eat candy?"

"We didn't make you eat any candy though", Lexaeus said.

"Wait a minute..." Axel said. He turned to Xigbar. "It was you, wasn't it!?"

"I did nothing, I swear!" Xigbar defended himself.

"Hey, we should go and keep an eye on Vexen. He's having one of his crazy scientist moments right now over there", Zexion interrupted, pointing at the doorway. "It's kinda funny though. Xemnas behaves the same way when he gets to play in the rain."

"Vexen gets messed up at the sight of a snow rain", Demyx said. "It happens every year."

"I know. That's the reason why Roxas almost drove over him with last winter."

"How many times has Roxas done that?" Sora asked curiously.

"I think it was 999 times", Zexion said, looking at Demyx who nodded.

"He's so violent", Larxene said in a approving tone.

"So are you", Xaldin told her.

"Roxas does it by accident, I do it on purpose", Larxene said. "Remember that next time, loser."

"Okay, listen, you disrespectful woman, I'm gonna show you who's the real loser, number 12."

"Hey, we should continue with these jobs Naminé gave us", Demyx interrupted the argument that was about to escalate into a versus battle between Larxene and Xaldin.

"Yeah, we should do that before these two decides to start a match", Zexion agreed.

"I wasn't going to start a match of any kind because I, unlike you, do have some respect to higher ranks", Larxene said.

"Hey, we should do something about Vexen. He's making snow angels now while he laughs like a lunatic", Axel said and stepped through the doorway into Christmas Town. Xaldin and others followed him.

"Vexen, you can be a kid later", Zexion told Vexen, who was now building a snowman that looked like a Assassin Nobody.

"Don't disturb me, this is the best snow sculpture I've ever made! Fuck the Christmas Tree, I'm taking this home and put it into the fridge!" Vexen said.

"Where are you gonna find a fridge as huge as your snow sculpture fits, Vexen?" Sora asked.

"I don't know, I'll come up with something at home", Vexen answered. "Unless that Vandal Roxas drives over me with a truck like every other past winter..."

"I think the Christmas Tree is way more interesting in scientific point of view", Zexion said. "Think about all the tests you could do to a tree instead of a snowman that will only end up melting away before you finish with your research..."

Vexen stopped doing what he had been doing and looked thoughtful. Then he snapped his fingers so loudly they could have snapped in half and said, "I shall make the tree to look like a Assassin then!"

Everyone sighed in frustration. Xaldin thought how he was unable to handle this much annoyance and madness. He really began to hope that this would have ended already and there would be peaceful again everywhere – although what type of peace would it be when Axel's gang was playing thieves, Marluxia was a pickpocket and then lost all the money in a poker game against Luxord, Xigbar was a lunatic Dusk sharpshooter and Xemnas was pissed off at everyone and everything all the time? Yep, it wasn't a definition of peace. Xaldin and others who were more quiet and calmer would be working on something somewhere else than home because of the everlasting madness.

 _A/N: Next chapter will be told from Vexen's point of view and it will be posted during the last week of June. I'm going on a vacation on next week and I won't be updating any of my fics because of it._


	4. Science (Is Awesome)

_A/N: Here's another crazy chapter for this story. I really like this chapter. :D_

 _I do not own Kingdom Hearts franchise and its characters. Those belong to Square Enix and Walt Disney Interactive._

 _PS. I have no intention to diss anyone with a divided personality in this chapter._

 **Chapter 4: Science (Is Awesome)**

Christmas Town was a very interesting from a scientific point of view. Especially all the green trees were very appealing to Vexen. Nobody else in this group would ever understand how beautiful these trees actually were. He really wanted to experiment with the trees' shape – just as he had planned since day one – it would be great. Of course, he had no idea what was going to be the result of this experiment, but he honestly didn't care.

Vexen walked to the closest Christmas Tree, and took out the magnifier, ruler and a small paper pad – which was in a very bad condition because reasons – and he began to measure the length of the needles in the closest branch. Then he put the numbers down and would do the exact same thing to every last needle. It would take hours, but it would be worth it – they would find their perfect Christmas Tree.

"What the hell are you doing, Vexen?" Zexion asked.

"Scientific research", Vexen answered.

"What for?" Axel asked.

"Ugh, how am I supposed to be able to concentrate on this if you retards are being noisy as hell!?" Vexen grumbled.

"Why don't you just tell us what's up because we honestly can't tell", Sora asked, annoying grin on his face.

"I'm trying to figure out why the needles of this tree are growing five sentimeters in every five second", Vexen said, defeated.

It was also very true. All the needles in these trees were already 2 meters long. Even now the needles of the branch Vexen was looking at were so long that they were already laying on the ground – and they still kept growing!

"Maybe Santa Claus has poured them up with some sort of magic potion!" Xigbar yelled but went quiet as he noticed how murderously Larxene glared at him.

Vexen wasn't surprised. Larxene was very known for her death glare. Many people had been scarred for life after facing it.

"Let's just go hunt for more presents", Larxene said. "And while we do that, you will get the Tree", she added to Sora as she and the rest of her group left.

"It's funny to see people following her like little puppies", Demyx told Zexion as they watched the 'Christmas Presents Team' go.

"I bet Larxene made them behave that way by looking at them with that evil death glare of hers", Zexion said.

"Why do you always have to be such a pessimist, Zexion? Being happy once in a while doesn't kill you."

"Shut up, Demyx, nobody asked your opinion."

"You're not a nice person."

"Shut up, retards, I'm working here!" Vexen told them as he forgot another important number regarding the length of the branch.

"Calm down, dude", Demyx said, laughing.

"Shut up, Demyx, if you don't wanna end up turning into his guinea pig like Naminé's cat did two weeks ago", Zexion warned him. "Naminé has never been as pissed off as she was when she found out about it."

"Oh, yeah, she looked like the Queen of Hell!" Demyx said, grinning.

"I kinda wish I had a time machine so I could go back to those days of chaos..." he then fell silent and began to tap his chin a thoughtful look on his face. Vexen used the chance and turned around to concentrate on the Christmas Tree he was doing in research on. He could hear silent whispers between Demyx and Zexion, and then they fell silent as well. Sora's whistling from few meters away was the only sound left.

"Vexen", Zexion said.

Vexen decided it was best to ignore him.

"Vexen, listen", Demyx said.

Vexen didn't want to listen.

"Oh, come on now, dude –"

"No, I'm not going to build up a portal into the past!" Vexen yelled while throwing his magnifier and paper pad to the ground.

"How did you know we were going to ask you about that?" Zexion asked.

"I know you two. You're evil enough to do something like that to me!"

"Hey, we really should choose the tree before Larxene comes back", Sora interrupted them. "I don't know about you guys but I don't wanna piss that blondie off."

"He's right", Demyx agreed. "Vexen, you can still figure out the meaning of Tree's needles fastened growing..." he added and grabbed Vexen's arm.

"And when we are done, we should hurry back so Xemnas won't blow up the castle while he turns into Hades on us. I really don't wanna beat up a old man because he goes batshit crazy", Sora continued, and Demyx and – surprisingly – Zexion murmured in agreement.

Vexen, however, was unable to move. He had seen the most beautiful Christmas Tree ever. It was higher than definition of high, and majestic. Like a king of all trees!

"Magnificent! Oh, my beautiful!" Vexen yelled and ran to it. This tree hadn't even caught the weird 'Needle Fast Growth Disease' as he called it. "It sucks that I lost my magnifier earlier", he added as he circled the tree with a thougthful look on his face. He didn't even care if everyone else thought he was a madman as he proceeded to bow to the magnificent tree in front of him. He was impressed. _So impressed_.

 _I am officially in love with this tree,_ Vexen decided.

"Vexen, I hope you're aware that you're worshipping _a tree_ ", Sora told him as Vexen dropped on his knees and kissed the tree trunk.

"And now he's kissing it..." Demyx said.

"What the fuck?" Zexion said at the same time.

"This tree is _divine_!" Vexen told them as he got up to his feet. "It just annoys me that my paper pad and magnifier are gone..."

"You really have no memory of throwing them away in a angry outb –" Zexion began, but then felt how Demyx covered his mouth – and nose – while Vexen looked at them all with a confused look on his face.

"I have no idea what's going on anymore", Vexen said.

"It's really nothing", Demyx said and took his hand away as Zexion bit him painfully on the side of its palm.

"Demyx, you don't need to cover up my whole face if you wanna prevent someone from talking", short dark haired boy said.

"I want to know what was the talk of me being unable to remember something!" Vexen demanded to know.

"I think it would be too tragic for your sensitive ears", Zexion said. "You might even get butthurt or maybe even go batshit crazy like Xemnas has done so many times."

"How dare you compare me to that lunatic?" Vexen growled. If he really hated something, it was those moments when other members compared him to Xemnas!

"Oh, okay. Maybe we'll let you know when we'll get home", Demyx answered.

"After Christmas so we don't need to change our Christmas Party into a funeral", Zexion added.

"I want porridge..." Sora mumbed on the background, having a distant look on his face. "And berry soup on top of it... What a ecstatic moment is that, oh..." he mumbled while drooling.

"Why does Christmas turn everyone mentally disabled?" Zexion complained.

"I have no idea. I just hope Larxene won't go through this phase. It would be scary", Demyx answered.

"Well, in her case it would only mean a overly cute blondie who's way too nice to people..."

"Ugh, that thought really scares me."

"This is the tree we'll take home!" Vexen told them. "This tree is too majestic, too beautiful to be left behind!"

"Are you sure, Vexen?" Sora asked.

"The beauty of this tree is based on its dark green needles and dark brown branches. It's so beautifully thick that even Larxene will cry when she sees this! And Xaldin, he who always destroys everything that's beautiful, will drop on his knees on the floor and cry a river that will feed the tree so it becomes even more beautiful, muhahahahahahaha!" Vexen went on.

"Holy shit, is he always like this?!" Sora asked.

"I have no idea. I haven't been talking to this guy much recently", Zexion said.  
"No, I meant like, in general."

"Oh, well, I can't really say."

"How come you can say that? You've known him so long!" Sora said, looking confused.

"He spends most of his time locked up in his laboratory researching who knows what. I once saw him trying to calculate the brain size of a butterfly there. He's a total lunatic."

"... the height of this tree is the most majestic thing I have ever seen, and when everyone sees it, the whole Organization will begin to worship me as their rightful leader! Then I'll take over all the worlds and name my empire Vexenia! I will rule and everyone will bow down to me, King of the Kings, God and the Master of all that exists! I will keep all peasants under control with a iron strong rule!" Vexen went on.

In all honestly Vexen really had no control over what he was talking about. Words just flew out of his mouth without him even trying to say them. This side of him sometimes got loose and when it did, there was no control over it. In reality Vexen wasn't like this at all! But luckily the second persona disappeared soon after it had been given a chance to say what he needed to say. Same happened this time as well.

"Vexen, did The Other One go away already?" Zexion asked in a bored tone.

"I think so", Vexen said. "So we'll take this damn tree and go home."

"What are we gonna do now then?" Demyx asked as he and horrified looking Sora went past Vexen and disappeared underneath the branches of the tree.

"How are we gonna force Larxene to take this tree into her spaceship?" Sora asked.

"We'll use force and steal the ship", Vexen said.

"I think this tree is too big to fit into that ship. We gotta use the other way to get it home", Zexion said, ignoring Vexen's suggestion.

"Well, we aren't cutting it. My beautiful would be in pain and my scientific soul would cry."

"Nobody was suggesting anything like that though..."

"I bet you had that in your mind but you just don't wanna admit it."

"Well, maybe we did think about it but it doesn't mean that we'd go for it", Demyx confessed.

After a long hours long argument – and after going on side tracks a few times – they decided that the tree would be kept in one piece because they would have had to glue it back together at home. Eventually Larxene and her group returned as well. Lexaeus and Xigbar were carrying the huge gift bags over their shoulders.

"Is that thing the tree you chose?" Axel asked.

"It is. I chose it", Vexen said, feeling very proud of himself.

"Wonderful, but it doesn't fit into my ship", Larxene asked. "How are you gonna take it to the castle?"

"I have no idea. And don't even _dare_ to say we should cut it in half."

"What's the big problem? We got super glue. We'll just put it back together. That's all."

"You're not gonna help us anyway so don't say 'we'", Axel said. "You'll probably force Roxas to do everything and I'm not going to let that happen this time."

"No, I was actually thinking of forcing Marluxia into doing it this time, Axel", Larxene said grinning. "I'm pretty sure that guy isn't even a man, he's such a alien..."

"Hey, maybe we should just come up with a way to get this tree home before you plan on enslaving Marluxia", Xaldin said.

"Hey, look at this", Axel said and bent one of the branches. He bent like a plastic stick.

"Well, there's your answer", Vexen said. "You can bent it so it fits into that goddamn ship of yours, Larxene. And then we'll get it in and go home."

"Fine, but you can't blame me if the ship blows up", Larxene said.

And that was how Vexen got what he wanted – Christmas Tree was put into Larxene's spaceship and then gift bags were put in. Everyone went in right after that. Of course, there wasn't much space left because there were three mountain sized gift bags, a tree that had been bent so that the treetop was facing the other end and Larxene's and Vexen's – he really considered himself to be the leader of the 'Christmas Tree Team' – teams. It was needless to say that the trip back home would be pretty uncomfortable...

 _A/N: There it is, lol. Yes, Vexen has made a complete lunatic in this story. This role really suits him perfectly. Next chapter is written from Lexaus' point of view, and it will include the rest of the Christmas Presents Team's adventure on their guest to get the suitable presents for everyone. :D_


	5. More Shopping (And A Gathering)

_A/N: Hey guys! It's time to give you an update of this completely random story. It's been a while since I have updated this story, lol. But yeah, it will continue now. I have written a lot of chapters and I will post them as fast as I can. This particular chapter has basically been rewritten because in the original Finnish version I messed up and turned Lexaeus into a stupid idiot. My readers back then weren't too happy about it lol._

 _This chapter happens mostly at the same time with the chapter 4._

 _I do not own Kingdom Hearts franchise and its characters. Those belong to Square Enix and Walt Disney Interactive._

 **Chapter 5 – More Shopping (And A Gathering)**

After carrying the bag of presents for hours, Lexaeus – and also Xaldin – were suffering from severe back pain which made them both really annoyed. However, the shopping spree wasn't over yet. Since all presents were now bought, all they needed was lots and lots of wrapping paper and other things needed for making presents look pretty. Lexaeus himself was a simple minded person and would have been happy if the present was just handed to him in a paper bag or something but other members probably would laugh at him. _They like flashy things way too much,_ Lexaeus thought.

"What did you say?" Xaldin asked.

"Did I say my thoughts aloud again?" Lexaeus asked, feeling annoyed at himself because this seemed to happen way too often.

"I didn't clearly hear it because you mumbled but please repeat", Xaldin said while he glared at Larxene, who was now trying to decide between two different stylized flashy wrapping paper packs.

"Xaldin's ready to go on a murdering spree. Be careful, Larxene, I think you're gonna be his first victim!" Axel joked, but nobody laughed – not even Xigbar, who had said to be his fan.

"I'll put him down easily", Larxene said without even turning around.

"How come you can joke about murderers that easily, Axel?" Xaldin demanded to know.

"It's the way you glare at people here", Xigbar said. "You look pretty murderous when do that."

"Well, I think we can live with another nutjob since both Xemnas and Vexen are crazy as hell", Axel said. "Welcome to the Crazy Club, Xaldin", he added.

"I'm not even close to going crazy", Xaldin said as he put the bag full of presents down. Then he stretched himself, and bent his back so much that sounds of cracks were heard. "It's this goddamn bag that makes me angry. It's so heavy that it kills me", he added calmly.

"But I still expect you to carry it around because you and Lexaeus are only ones who can do so", Larxene said as she put the wrapping paper packs down and chose the yellow one with orange balls as the decoration – Lexaeus hated it so much. Colors like this gave him migraine! But he also knew that telling Larxene off wouldn't be a wise idea at all so he kept his opinions to himself.

"I'd rather work on my Christmas menu, thank you", Xaldin told Larxene. "I'm a chef after all."

"Well, sometimes you gotta do stuff you don't like at all, Xaldin. You _will_ do exactly as _I_ say, OK?" Larxene answered as she bought another pack of wrapping paper from the storekeeper, who looked scared the whole time. Lexaeus noticed that the paper in Larxene's hands was constantly changing its color, and sung Christmas carols.

"Oh, I'm so scared by that threat", Xaldin said. "Look how much I'm shaking."

"You should", Larxene said. "If you don't, I'll make sure you'll suffer after Christmas", she added and grinned.

Xaldin glared at her again.

"But didn't you say few hours ago that you respect your higher ups?" Axel asked Larxene. "Are you on your period, blondie?"

"Axel, why don't you just shut the hell up?" Larxene asked as Xigbar laughed on the background. Even Lexaeus smiled a little bit.

"Oh my god, even Lexaeus finds you funny!? Men has such a tasteless sense of humour!" Larxene complained. "Oh well, I'll let him live until the size of his brains starts to annoy me."

"Wow, Larxene, you really need to chill", Axel said.

"No, I do not."

"I think you should. Especially since we're gonna celebrate Christmas in two weeks."

"Please stop talking to me, dude, or I'll turn your hair into a burnt afro."

 _Note to self: don't piss Larxene off until Christmas and New Years are over,_ Lexaeus thought and was pretty sure that others in their group also thought the same.

"Okay then, let's calm down a bit", Xaldin said. "Let's try to get back home without killing each other", he added in a annoyed tone.

"Tell Axel to stop talking to me then", Larxene said.

"Axel, stop talking to Larxene."

"Tell Larxene that I'd rather keep talkin'", Axel shot back and grinned.

"I'm not telling that to her."

"Yes, you better not", Larxene agreed, raising her left eyebrow while she took out one of her kunais from her bottomless pocket.

"Okay, fine", Axel sighed, raising his hands up in the air as a sign of defeat.

Larxene looked satisfied at the sight of that.

"I swear I'll get a migraine attack before this is even over", Lexaeus said as he massaged his temples. "Why am I here? I should be reading philosophy at home..."

"You get migraine from listening to our talking?" Xigbar asked.

"I do sometimes. People argue way too much. It makes my head hurt so much that it feels like it's ready to explode."

"Well, that can't be a good thing then."

"It isn't. You'll have to carry this mountain sized bag to Larxene's spaceship."

Xigbar looked at the huge bag Lexaeus was carrying and shook his head. "No, I will make sure that you'll stay alive. I can't carry that thing!" And with that, he ran off.

 _I wish I had ran off when I was told why I'm leaving with Larxene's group,_ Lexaeus jealously thought. If he had ran off, he would have locked himself up to his room and read more Greek philosophy. But here he was. Carrying a mountain sized bag of presents and his back hurt like hell. However, unlike Xaldin, he wasn't going to complain about it.

"I think we have everything we came here for now", Larxene said as she looked at the shopping list they had written down in Larxene's spaceship earlier that day.

"I think we should go look for Xigbar first", Axel pointed out to Xaldin – redhead was obviously trying to keep his word and not talk to Larxene – who picked up another mountain sized gift bag.

"Why should we care about him?" Xaldin demanded to know as he put the bag over his shoulder and growled because it was so heavy.

"I think he'd like to be there when we give the presents to one another", Axel answered.

"He's right though", Lexaeus pointed out. "Xigbar is really excited over Christmas after all."

"I thought you wanted to go back home", Larxene told him.

"I can wait for a while, Larxene", Lexaeus calmly said.

"Fine then", Larxene sighed. "Let's catch Xigbar before he leaves this place by himself. Besides, we need to run away before Vexen's other personality appears..."

Lexaeus knew exactly what she meant. Vexen had a divided personality, and the other side of him was a lunatic wannabe king who wanted to take over the world and turn it into a kingdom called Vexenia. Whenever this other personality appeared, he didn't go away until he had told everyone what a great guy he was, and how everyone would be his slaves. It was such a scary thought. Vexen was crazy enough as he was, but this other personality took it to a completely different level.

"I forgot that guy", Xaldin growled. "Let's move ASAP."

After searching Xigbar for countless hours, he was finally from the bushes close to the place where they Christmas Tree Team had been left. Xigbar was concentrated on something, and also looked very amused by something.

"What are you looking at?" Larxene asked him quietly as they approached him.

"Vexen went nuts again. He's telling Zexion and others what a great place Vexenia will be for everyone", Xigbar quietly answered as Axel joined him a broad grin on his face.

"Wow, this guy surely knows how to go crazy", redhead whispered as Vexen went on with his usual ramblings of his imaginary kingdom.

"That tree is huge though", Xaldin mumbled.

"And it surely doesn't fit into my spaceship unless it's cut in two", Larxene said.

"I'd love to see Vexenia in existence", Axel said as Vexen finally calmed down. "Vexen would go even crazier if he ruled all the worlds..."

"He should learn how to keep his calm and the socialize more. Then things like this would never happen", Larxene said. "He spends too much time in his laboratory."

"Are you sure that we can deal with the madness he represents?" Xaldin asked. "After all, he's always trying to measure lengths of our hair or volume or does research on their consistency."

"Do you actually have some experience on those things?"

"Yes, actually. I often wake up in the morning only to see him doing research on my hair's consistency. That's why I have these on. He won't be able to pull my hair out now."

"Interesting, but why don't you just go and shave him bald as a revenge?"

"You really don't think anything else but how to make people suffer as painfully as possible, right?"

"Revenge is not a good revenge without a little bit of pain, Xaldin."

"I'm done talking to you, you crazy woman", Xaldin informed her.

"I'm a sadist, not a crazy woman", Larxene said.

"I think we should go gather up with the Christmas Tree Team now that Vexen has calmed down", Lexaeus pointed out. "We gotta figure what to do with that tree..."

"Are we even sure that it's the one they chose?" Axel asked.

"Well, knowing Vexen it probably is the one. He's that over-the-top type of a guy."

"I think you got a point there. Let's go ask", redhead said, stood up from the bushes and pushed through them towards the group who was standing there looking at a huge, majestic tree.

"We better go with him before he triggers another Vexen #2 appearance..." Lexaeus said, and the rest of them followed the redhead.

"Is that thing the tree you chose?" Axel just asked as they approached them.

"It is. I chose it", Vexen said, looking proud of himself.

"Wonderful, but it doesn't fit into my ship", Larxene asked. "How are you gonna take it to the castle?"

"I have no idea. And don't even _dare_ to say we should cut it in half."

"What's the big problem? We got super glue. We'll just put it back together. That's all."

"You're not gonna help us anyway so don't say 'we'", Axel said – he had completely forgotten his promise to not to talk to Larxene – "You'll probably force Roxas to do everything and I'm not going to let that happen this time", redhead added.

"No, I was actually thinking of forcing Marluxia into doing it this time, Axel", Larxene said grinning. "I'm pretty sure that guy isn't even a man, he's such a alien..."

"Hey, maybe we should just come up with a way to get this tree home before you plan on enslaving Marluxia", Xaldin said.

"Hey, look at this", Axel said and bent one of the branches. He bent like a plastic stick.

"Well, there's your answer", Vexen said. "You can bent it so it fits into that goddamn ship of yours, Larxene. And then we'll get it in and go home."

"Fine, but you can't blame me if the ship blows up", Larxene said.

And that was how Vexen got what he wanted – Christmas Tree was put into Larxene's spaceship and then gift bags were put in. Everyone went in right after that. Of course, there wasn't much space left because there were three mountain sized gift bags, a tree that had been bent so that the treetop was facing the other end and Larxene's and Vexen's teams. It was needless to say that the trip back home would be pretty uncomfortable.

"Are we home soon!?" Demyx asked from somewhere behind the tree.

"Not even close, Demyx. It's gonna take us 30 hours. We'd be home already if you hadn't had to stop by the space bar to get lemonade", Larxene answered from the cockpit.

"I don't like being squeezed by two mountain sized gift bags", Xigbar informed them.

"Neither do we like to be squeezed by this gigantic plastic tree", Zexion commented.

"Why are you always so pessimistic, Zexion?" Axel asked from the floor – he laid on his back underneath the tree.

"It's not pessimism, redhead, it's sarcasm."

"You should chill out more, Zexion", Demyx told him as he played his sitar.

"Never", Zexion answered.

"Where the hell is my magnifier and my paper pad!?" Vexen's horrified voice shouted from somewhere behind the branches.

 _A/N: So, there it is. And yes, I did add the ending from the previous chapter as a part of this because this chapter would have ended stupidly otherwise. In the next time it's Zexion's turn to amaze everyone. It's also one of my favorite chapters of this story for a very long time and it seems to me that I love it even more every year lol._


	6. Crazy 4 Xmas (I Doubt It)

_A/N: Hey guys! Here is another chapter of this story, and the second chapter of the week. I didn't originally plan to publish more this week but I had nothing better to do so I decided to translate more of this story instead. At least it gives me a chance to listen some other music than just soundtracks for a while lol._

 _I do not own Kingdom Hearts franchise and its characters. Those belong to Square Enix and Walt Disney Interactive._

 **Chapter 6 – Crazy 4 Christmas (I Doubt It...)**

Zexion was already getting bored because he had nothing else to do but to sit in this so-called 'faster than the speed of light' spaceship which Larxene was piloting. If it really was that fast, they would have gotten home by now.

Not to mention the fact that he had absolutely no interest in watching how Vexen carassed the twofolded tree and cried as he did. Zexion didn't understand why he did so. It wasn't even in a bad condition! He could put it into a far more horrific condition if he really felt like it. Of course, Vexen wouldn't approve it at all. Also, Zexion's beautiful hands would get dirty and he didn't want that to happen.

"My poor tree..." Vexen mumbled as tears fell from his eyes. "My beautiful tree!"

"It's a goner, Vexen", Zexion said. "Actually, if we had cut it in two pieces, it would look so much better. Then Axel wouldn't have to sit on the floor and lick off all the twigs."

"I'm not licking twigs off the floor, dude", Axel's voice protested from underneath the tree.

"Shut it, and keep cleaning the floor", Larxene's voice said from the cockpit. "Or you'll suffer!"

"I doubt you can", redhead challenged her.

"Shut it", blonde woman answered. "I'll make sure that you'll suffer when we get home."

"Hey, could you two avoid fighting?" Xaldin's voice asked from somewhere behind the tree. "We gotta get home and I'd like to be alive when we do so. Besides, I really hate to sit here because Xigbar listens to Miley Cyrus on max volume and I can't stand it."

"I heard that!" Xigbar said, and for a moment he looked like he wanted to kill him but decided against it and shivered.

Zexion had a good idea of why he did so – It was the day when his eye was pierced by one of Xaldin's spears. On that very slippery day one year ago Roxas drove over Vexen for the 975th time, Xigbar happened to step in Xaldin's way as he tried to destroy the tires of the truck. Instead of piercing through those tires, spear went through Xigbar's eye. He yelled in pain, Xaldin tried to calm him down, Larxene laughed and Xemnas had one of his worst angry outbursts. It was filmed by Axel so they could always remember the rage moment of the great leader Xemnas.

 _I wonder how many times has Xemnas lost control of himself though... I don't even remember the number where I lost count of them,_ Zexion thought.

Zexion also knew that Larxene had watched the video at least once per week since then, and she always found it funny. Zexion himself had no real opinion on the issue, although things had been crazy back then. He remembered that the whole truck issue had ended with Roxas jumping out of the truck as it was about to crash into a wall. Then Xigbar chased after him around the castle as long as he could – and then he fainted.

"This tree was such a beautiful creature", Vexen said, and sighed.

"Stop worshipping the tree, idiot. We're gonna use it for a bonfire afterwards anyway", Zexion told him.

Vexen only glared at him as a answer for a moment before he returned to what he had been doing – to worship the tree he was basically laying on now. It was kind of creepy to see him smiling as he pressed his cheek against it.

As Zexion turned his eyes around to look what Xigbar and Xaldin were doing, he noticed that Xigbar was glaring at the black haired man until he turned to look.

"Would you like to see what happens to your other eye if I pierce one of my spears through it?" Xaldin asked while raising his other eyebrow.

"Oh, no thank you", Xigbar said and shivered.

"Are you traumatized from last year's events, Xigbar?" Zexion asked.

"Shut up, Shorty, you have no right to talk to me like that, number 6", Xigbar shot back immediately.

"Why don't you just put those earphones back on and listen Miley Cyrus more?" Zexion said.

"Don't change the subject, kid."

"You're starting to sound like a hybrid of Roxas and Larxene now, old man."

"Stop comparing me to them. I'm nothing like them, Ion."

"You came up with a chemistry related nickname for me? Interesting."

"You now, Shorty, you should just shut it."

"Stop being such a ass towards Ion, Xiggy", Axel's voice interrupted them. "Ion is a badass."

"Exactly, and because I belong to Axel's gang, I'm automatically awesome", Zexion said, remembering how much Xigbar wanted to join the group.

"How come it makes you awesome?" Xaldin curiously asked.

"Be quiet and cry for the tree instead", Vexen said.

"I think the other identity will take him over soon", Xaldin mumbled.

"What other identity?"

"Wow, you really have no memory of the things you do when that other guy takes over you..."

"I don't even have any other identities than this one!" Vexen grumbled.

"It takes you over when you get overly excited about something, you know?"

"I doubt you even know what you talk about right now", Vexen mocked him. And then he proceeded to repeat everything he had said in Christmas Town as he squeezed a branch of the tree.

When Vexen finally ended his rant about Vexenia, the group had arrived to the World That Never Was. Larxene parked the spaceship next to the Memory's Skyscraper.

"How did we get here?" Vexen asked as he came back to his senses – or maybe that was the wrong thing to say because he was pretty crazy even when he was sane.

"We took a race", Zexion said.

"Who won?"

"Nobody, idiot, we arrived here on this spaceship while you had your crazy meltdown."

"How are we gonna get this stuff out of here without destroying Larxene's spaceship?" asked Sora, who had been sleeping during the whole trip back – or that's what Zexion thought because he had snored so loudly.

"How about Xaldin uses wind to blow them outta here?" Zexion asked.

"Nope. My element will not be used for such things", Xaldin said.

"What for is it used then? For feeding pigeons?"

"I don't feed pigeons. I feed Dragoon nobodies", Xaldin answered while rolling his eyes.

"Oh, OK. I thought you feed birds because you're always flying in the sky."

"I think we are all very interested in your discussion but I think we should concentrate on getting out of this ship", Xigbar interrupted.

"Wow, you really are smart", Zexion answered. "Please tell me more."

"I think those two are about to start arguing", Demyx pointed out. "Zexion, chill out a bit. We're gonna celebrate Christmas soon!"

"Since when has our Christmas been awesome anyway?" Zexion wanted to know.

"Could you help me with the tree?" Axel asked him.

"I dunno, will my hands get dirty?"

"I dunno, mine are pretty clean", Axel said and showed his hands to the shorter man.

"Are you sure you're not lying to me?" Zexion asked, suspicious.

"I don't tell lies to my friends. Except that one time when I told Naminé you got a crush on her. But that was on April Fools Day, so..."

"Roxas did take it seriously though. He chased after me for two months."

"I had no idea that Roxas had a crush on her though."

"Well, my point is just that we could have avoided all of it if you had kept your mouth shut."

"Hey, are you gonna keep talking or are you gonna help us with the tree?" Xaldin interrupted.

"We will if we aren't feeling lazy enough", Zexion answered and went out of the spaceship by using the door. He wasn't sure how it had been opened because there had been so much stuff blocking the way out. Then Axel and Zexion grabbed the tree where they could and began to pull it out. However, as it finally came out, twofolded tree's treetop's branches got stuck with Xaldin's and Demyx's hoods and as the tree straightened up, the two men were thrown away by it. They flew somewhere behind the tall buildings.

"Holy shit, they flew pretty far", Sora said.

"I truly hate this now", Larxene sighed.

"Should we go look for them now?" Axel asked.

"We'll take all of this stuff to the castle first and then we'll form a search party who will go find those careless idiots", Larxene answered and sighed again.

"Good idea", Sora said. "That way I can get Riku away from Kairi as he concentrates on decorating the tree instead."

"What a wonderful love triangle", Zexion commented.

"I CAN'T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!" yelled someone from the castle.

"Who was that?" Larxene asked.

"I think it was Xemnas, who finally had a new meltdown", Xigbar said.

"I thought he already experienced it when the Organization was founded", Zexion sarcastically said as he, Sora, Axel and Xigbar carried the tree towards the castle. Vexen and Lexaeus took care of the gift bags by carrying them together.

As they finally reached the castle, they all saw how Roxas fell off the ladder. He swore as his butt hit the hard floor. In his hand there was a red fuzzy looking Christmas decoration ribbon which he had been holding as he began to fall. Because of this he also pulled out most of it off the wall and it also made Luxord and Marluxia fall off their ladders as well.

"MY CARDS!" Luxord yelled as he hit the floor and a card pack from his pocket fell onto the floor. He began to pick up the cards.

"MY BEAUTIFUL HAIR!" Marluxia yelled as he fell – on Saïx.

"Would you please get off me?" Saïx asked Marluxia and pushed him off him.

"My ass..." Roxas complained and swore more.

"You people look so happy", Zexion greeted them.

"Oh, you returned", Roxas said and got up again.

"Where's Demyx and Xaldin?" Luxord asked as he got up and put his card pack into his pocket.

"This tree is very flexible so when it was twofolded in Larxene's spaceship and we pulled it out from it, the other end of the tree spung up and some pranches caught their hoods. They flew somewhere like stones on a catapult", Axel explained.

"Oh, I see. So, who's gonna make a bet of their possible return?" Luxord said grinning.

"None of us will because you will cheat", Zexion said.

"So?" Luxord asked.

"My hair..." Marluxia mumbled as he got up and began to ruffle his hair crazily.

"What's with you, flower boy?" Zexion asked.

"It's Roxas' fault that my hair is messed up", Marluxia answered.

"And you think we care?"

"You totally should!"

"Nah, I'm not in the mood."

"Okay, stop this. We still need to go look for those two idiots", Larxene interrupted them.

"I think I'm going to join the search team", Roxas said. "I feel like a slave in this castle."

"How come do you feel that way?"

"Xemnas has turned everyone into slaves here. I should sue him for this!"

"Roxas, don't even think about leaving your spot", Naminé's voice said. "I ordered you to stay in the castle and you will do as I said."

"Naminé, you don't understand. Xaldin and Demyx are missing, and I think I'll be more useful if I go look for them. I really suck at this decorating thing..."

"Oh, I didn't know Xaldin and Demyx were missing. Well, you can join the search team."

"Well, then I'll stay here", Xigbar said, let go of the tree and whistled as he walked away. Soon the castle was filled with his laugh and gunshot sounds.

"He should have helped us first though", Larxene snorted as she took Xigbar's place as one of the carriers of the large tree.

"By the way, Vexen went nuts twice during our trip", Axel said.

"Oh, how's Vexenia, Vexen?" Marluxia teased.

Vexen only glared as a answer and put down the mountain sized gift bag. He then walked away without saying anything.

"Where's he going?" Naminé asked.

"I think he's going back to his lab", Axel said.

"I think I'll go stalk Riku and Kairi", Sora hastily said as his two friends came into view. He also let go of the tree and then ran away.

"COME ON!" Larxene yelled in a furious voice.

"Put the tree down", Naminé said. "I'll ask someone else to carry it over to the living room."

"I'll do it", Lexaeus said.

Naminé nodded as a answer and Lexaeus put down his gift bags and then took the tree into his hands with ease. He carried it towards the floor that Naminé had mentioned earlier.

"So, let's go look for Demyx, Zexion", Roxas said. "We gotta help him since he's a part of our gang."

"Well, I could go but only if my hands won't get dirty", Zexion said.

"Your hands are way too important to you", Roxas mocked him.

"Promise me you're not going to run away from me, OK?" Naminé asked Roxas, who immediately turned around to look at the blonde girl.

Zexion could feel he disgusting overly adorable feeling in the atmosphere and stepped further away from the two.

"Where would I go when it's so close to Christmas, Naminé?" Roxas said and smiled.

 _Ew, disgusting,_ Zexion thought as Naminé began to smile to him as well.

"All the love in the air disgusts me", Xemnas' voice said nearby. "Where's Xaldin?"

"He and Demyx got into a accident, nothing special", Axel answered.

"Why am I not surprised?" Xemnas said in a mocking voice and then walked away.

"Our leader seems to be quite disappointed with us", Zexion pointed out as he and Roxas followed Axel outside while Larxene was left there standing with the tree and one mountain sized gift bag – which she looked like as if it was her worst enemy.

 _A/N: So, there it is. The next chapter's events are told from Saïx's point of view._


	7. WTF? (Decorations!)

_A/N: Hey guys! Here's another chapter for this story which I translated last week._

 _I do not own Kingdom Hearts franchise and its characters. Those belong to Square Enix and Walt Disney Interactive._

 **Chapter 7 - WTF!? (Decorations!)**

"Wow, that tree is HUGE!" Luxord exclaimed in the living room while looking at the Christmas Tree. It was finally in the place where it was fit perfectly – it had taken them about 12 hours to finish – and now only thing left was to decorate it. Saïx had tried order these peasants around in Xemnas' place because he was on the verge of another mental breakdown – how was he even able to get so many in few days? – but these people just refused to listen to him.

"Stop worshipping and put these decorations on the tree!" Saïx grumbled and as if to give more power to his words he hit the decorations' box with his whip.

Larxene looked at the whip with a dreamy look on her face. Saïx was sure that she was thinking how much she'd love to whip everyone around with it.

"Roxas was so lucky..." Luxord mumbled as he climbed the ladder to put decorations on the treetop of the tree. Marluxia did the same thing on his side of the tree while Xigbar was dancing to a Miley Cyrus album which was on max volume. And what's worse, Saïx and Xemnas were the only ones who hated it. Everyone else enjoyed the music which echoed in every corner of the castle. Even Larxene seemed to be doing some awkward dance moves to the songs.

"You don't look like a very effective leader with that whip in your hands", DiZ critisized.

"Shut up, and decorate the tree if you have nothing else to do", Saïx told him.

"But I can't. I have a limited eyesight as you can see. Also, I'm waiting for a huge Sea Salt Ice Cream shipment from Radiant Garden's ice cream seller", DiZ shot back and laughed. "Also, I will most definitely stumble on this red thing I'm wearing..."

"And what do I do with this information?" Saïx wanted to know.

"I don't know."

"I told Xemnas it would be a mistake to invite you here. Why can't he believe me?"

"But you're pretty far below on the Organization ranks, number 7."

"Shut it, this is a democracy."

"'Democracy'?" DiZ laughed. "Are you sure Xemnas knows what that means?"

"I bet he does."

"I bet he doesn't."

"Oh for the fuck's sake, man, why don't you just leave and go figure out some philosophic questions?" Saïx said, feeling annoyed.

"I need lemon tea and biscuits and a philosophic person to join me in that case."

"Thank you for that useless piece of information. Now, get out", Saïx said.

DiZ looked amused as he left the place. While he did, he walked right into the ladder that Marluxia was standing on. He was putting on a cherry blossom chain onto the tree.

"NO!" pink haired man yelled as the chain was cut in half as he fell onto the floor.

DiZ stumbled on his way out of the door and then fell off the stairs – and he laughed like a excited little kid. Saïx was sure that this guy was a crazy person.

"Everyone's crazy in this group..." blue haired man mumbled.

"And he finally gets it. Could you help me up now?" Marluxia asked from the floor.

"Or help me to get down from this tree?" Luxord's voice said.

Saïx looked up, and saw him hanging on the branches of the treetop by his hood. Then, suddenly, the treetop began to bent towards the ground and Luxord's expression turned into a horrified one.  
"I don't wanna die!" he yelled and tried to rip off the hood on his jacket to get back down.

"This is entertaining", Larxene said. Then she took the whip from Saïx's hands. "And finally this is mine!"

"Larxene, don't play with that!" Marluxia said and stood up with speed that Saïx didn't know he possessed – Marluxia was kinda slow usually – and he ran over to Larxene.

"No, Flower Boy, I'm not gonna give it back. If you try something, I'll whip you around a bit", Larxene told him.

Marluxia touched his hair and took few steps back. Larxene looked satisfied as she laughed for a moment and then she just threw the whip into the corner, which made Saïx furrow his eyebrows.

"Larxene, are you OK? You've been weird ever since you returned from the shopping trip", he said. "Maybe you should go see Vexen."

"I will never go meet Vexen in his laboratory. The last time I did that he thought I had volunteered to be a guinea pig for his experiments."

"I dunno what's up with you but I kinda like this new Larxene", Marluxia said, obviously relieved that he didn't have to get beaten up by the crazy woman.

Larxene was about to say something but was interrupted with a loud thud and a crack noise when Luxord fell from the tree and through the floor. But it wasn't the worst thing; the treetop branch which had been stuck on his hood had bent down with him and before anyone could help the poor blonde, tree straightened up again, pulling him out of the hole.

"MOMMY HELP ME!" Luxord yelled as he flew out of the window. Only his clothes were left behind. Saïx, Larxene and Marluxia looked at the remains in surprise.

"Well, that tree is obviously more vicious than I thought", Naminé's voice said from a corner where she was setting up her artistic studio.

"Are you gonna write a book next, Naminé?" Larxene asked.

"No, I'm going to paint Luxord's fall from grace", blonde girl answered.

"Wonderful!"

"I would do the same with Demyx and Xaldin as well but I wasn't present when it happened and I can't even imagine it right."

"Why don't you take it out from Sora's memories? Do it as painfully as possible so I could be happy again."  
"Sorry, Larxene, I don't want to hurt him", Naminé said and began to draw on a huge A2 sized paper.

 _If I'm completely honest though, I wouldn't miss Luxord one bit. He's always stealing everyone's money in that Poker game of his,_ Saïx thought. _I'd rather argue with Larxene 24/7 than play Poker with Luxord..."_

"Hmm, maybe I should put up a gallery for my art. I do have a lot of these laying around in my room after all", Naminé wondered aloud as she finished the sketch for her new painting.

"Not a bad idea at all, Naminé. Just make sure that a lot of the paintings are violent", Larxene told her.

"Naminé, do you still have that Larxene/Axel painting somewhere in your room?" Marluxia asked. "I think that was fabulous."

"Yes, it's on my wall, actually. It's my personal favorite but then again, I love painting flames", Naminé answered.

"What is this?" Larxene demanded to know.

"Oh, you didn't know? I think you and Axel would be a nice couple", Naminé said. "And apparently Marluxia seems to think that way too."

"I would never be with a guy like that. He gets on my nerves all the fucking time!"

"Opposites attract", Marluxia grinned. "I'd like to create a romantic blind date for you guys."

"Are you sure you'd like to keep talking, Marluxia?" Larxene asked in a threatening voice.

"Yes, I'd love to, thanks for asking. I love the sound of my own voice so much that I'd like to talk for hours just for you."

 _What the hell is happening here?_ Saïx wondered as he looked at the surprised Larxene and grinning Marluxia. _Something's going on between these two,_ he added. As much as he wanted to interrupt, he was also way too curious to see what was happening. After all, he might finally be able to figure out the reason behind Larxene's weird behaviour – not that he actually cared though.

Larxene looked troubled for a little while longer before she sighed in defeat – which Saïx hadn't expected to happen – and said, "Alright, Flower Boy, I find it hard to disagree with that one. _But_ you are not allowed to go and plan a blind date for me and the annoying red head."

"Aw, nuts", Marluxia said. "C'mon, Larxene, you could chill and not bully everyone for a while if you went out on a date."

"Why don't you go out with him if you love him so much?"

"I'm not attracted to men, sorry."

"You're not?" Larxene's voice was suspicious. "I seriously doubt that."

"I'm just as straight as you, Larxene", Marluxia grinned. "Did you know that you're funny?"

"Are you hitting on me!?" Larxene's voice said in disbelief.

"I dunno, I've never done this before. Do you think I'm doing so?"

"Yes, I'm pretty sure that you are doing so. You're that crazy."

"Since when has craziness been somehow connected to the fact that I'm trying to win you over?"

"I dunno. Ask Vexen", Larxene said, smiling.

"I think your discussion is very interesting but could be possibly continue decorating the house? We still have about 200 floors to go", Saïx interrupted.

"Oh yeah, I forgot", Marluxia said. "Larxene, you have to help me since Luxord successfully flew out of the window", he added.

"Does anyone know what happened to DiZ? His voice faded out after 30th floor", Xigbar's voice asked.

"Why aren't you listening to Miley Cyrus anymore?" Larxene asked, as she got up on another ladder to help Marluxia with decorating.

"My battery's dead on my iPod", Xigbar said, sighing sadly.

"Thank god", Larxene mumbled.

"I think you would actually be a better match with Zexion", Marluxia said.

"Stop it, Marluxia", Larxene grumbled.

"Never!"

"If you thought you have a chance with me, you're so wrong", Larxene mumbled.

"Why are you two arguing like a old married couple?" Saïx asked.

"We do not!" Larxene said and started to put up the decorations onto the tree branches with intense speed.

Marluxia didn't say anything on the subject and picked up cherry blossom ribbon from the floor and them climbed his ladder to the top where he began to put the ribbon on the wall. He began whistle Christmas carols as Xigbar began to decorate the lower branches of the tree with silver, gold and bronze balls.

"I totally love Christmas", Marluxia said after a 30 minute long silence.

"I agree", Xigbar said.

"I disagree", Larxene said.

"I think you're only lying to yourself, Larxene", Marluxia told her.

"I doubt it. This part of the year is from HELL", Larxene said and rolled her eyes as if it was the obvious answer. "Everyone should know that by now..."

"If you're worried of bullies, I can protect you..."

"I can take care of myself perfectly well, Flower Boy."

"Ah, C'mon, I think it's fun to be affectionate towards someone facing the same fate", Marluxia said and then held tightly on the ladder as they almost fell on the floor again. "Oh hell, these are definitely on the verge of breaking down. Why can't Xemnas buy new ones?"

Saïx agreed – the ladder Marluxia was standing on were unstable because they had been patched up with duck tape on various places.

"Saïx, you gotta talk about this to Xemmy when you meet him again", Marluxia added.

"I could, but Xemnas doesn't let me talk because he complains ridiculously much", Saïx said – which was another truth.

"What does he complain so much about?" Larxene asked curiously.

"You. You people are terrible suborninates according to him."

"So he gets mental breakdowns because of us?" Marluxia asked.

"I don't know."

"Why does he complain about us then?"

"It's not my business to tell you. Ask him yourselves. I suggest you give him a bottle of Jack Daniels first though."

"Why should we get him drunk to tell us what we wanna know?"

"Really? I thought you wanted to know the reason behind Xemnas' mental breakdowns", Saïx asked, raising his eyebrows.

"He thought we were his enemies and tried to kill us last time he was drunk so I think it's better if he was sober", Marluxia said.

"I would take the risk though", Xigbar interrupted. "The reason behind Xemnas' mental breakdowns must be epic..."

"So you'd like to hunt Xemnas down, and force him to take tranquilizer, then?" Larxene asked. "Go ahead, Xigbar. Have fun."

"When did this happen?" Saïx asked curiously. He had no memory of this event!

"It was last month. Xemnas doesn't remember it at all because he was so drunk and we didn't really want to tell you", Marluxia said, followed by a crack of the step he was standing on. He fell off the ladder while letting out a very feminine scream.

"I HATE THIS LADDER! AND THE GODDAMN DUCK TAPE!" he yelled on the floor as the ladder came down on him.

 _A/N: Yeah, Marluxia/Larxene is gonna happen soon. I don't really ship them anymore, but I didn't want to change this story – well, that much, at least. It does have some differences compared to the old 2006-2007 version – because I like it the most as it is. Next chapter will be written from everyone's favorite, Axel's point of view. :)_


	8. Search pt1 (Flames In My Heart)

_A/N: I'm so obsessed with this story that I can't even work on my Fairy Tail fanfic Shattered lol. Oh well, it's OK. I haven't updated this KH story as often I should have (I was supposed to post bonus chapter 14 here on September 5th, 2016 but failed at it lol)._

 _I do not own Kingdom Hearts franchise and its characters. Those belong to Square Enix and Walt Disney Interactive._

 **Chapter 8 – Search pt.1 (Flames In My Heart)**

The World That Never Was was dark. Streets in the city were a maze, and darker than a definition of dark. Axel sometimes wondered why this place couldn't be red and fiery just like his element. It would have been so much better – but these fashion blinded idiots failed to see it. He really hated it. It was the main reason why his gang was created.

"Don't walk into the wall", Zexion informed him, but his warning came too late – Axel walked right into the wall of a nearby building and fell on his butt. He cursed so loudly that all the nearby Heartless ran away immediately.

"Even those cowards ran away", Zexion said as he watched the Heartless going.

"To you everyone is a coward", Roxas said as he helped his best friend up.

"Everyone are cowards. Even you belong to that group, Roxas."

"Well thank you for this worthless piece of information", Roxas grumbled.

"You're not even scary", Zexion informed him amused look on his face – to which Roxas answered by giving him the middle finger.

Axel knew that they were never serious when they fought like this. It was just that their friendship was difficult to understand. Although sometimes things did get serious enough that physical violence came into the picture. Axel remembered how he and Demyx had to beat them up to get them away from each other once. It had to be done as fast as possible because Vexen had expressed his interest in researching until he found the answer for the question 'can a nobody die?'.

"Hmm, I wonder where those two idiots are", Zexion said.

"I dunno, but we should keep looking", Roxas said. "What do you think, Axel?"

"They flew somewhere behind those buildings", Axel answered, pointing at somewhere behind the tall buildings.

Zexion and Roxas nodded, turned around and walked to the direction Axel had given them. Axel was sure that they would end up arguing over something. For a moment he also considered on going to get some popcorn and pepsi and watch the argument but decided otherwise.

Axel was also very sure that Xaldin was furious after being thrown away by a big Christmas tree, and probably he'd be blaming it all on Demyx – who obviously had nothing to do with it. Axel knew that Demyx wouldn't take it lightly. He would use his element to make Xaldin's life a hell. Axel had seen it few months ago when Marluxia had gotten to meet Demyx's bad side. Marluxia was sick for two weeks after getting soaked in water. He had learned his lesson and tried his best to avoid pissing Demyx off any time soon.

"Axel, watch out for that lamp post", Zexion said.

But the warning came too late – Axel walked right into the lamp post and fell onto the ground once again. He sighed and stood up again. Zexion looked at him with a emotionless look on his face while Roxas hit his head onto the wall of the nearby building with so much power that the building swayed from side to side.

"Roxas, what are you doing?" Zexion asked him. "Are you trying to kill yourself?"

"Shut it, Ion!" came the answer from the blonde boy. He stopped hitting his head onto the wall and looked up. The building had started to fall – and it was about to crush the trio. They had to run away from its way and the building crushed onto the ground. Soon it turned into a pile of grey sand.

"Look, Roxas, what have you done now", scolded Zexion. "Now we gotta take a detour to go back home."

"I also think we should leave this place before Xemnas comes here with Vexen to punish us for this", Axel said.

"You mean Vexen will do experiments on us like a mad scientiest he is? Last time he tried to poke our eyes with a needle, remember?"

"Hey, the noise came from over here!" Demyx's voice said nearby.

"Yes, I heard it too, Demyx. I do have ears", came Xaldin's annoyed answer.

The two missing members of the Organization appeared from the dust cloud. They both looked like they had come from a battle – or maybe they had been swimming in the garbage?

"What's up, you two?" Axel asked.

"We fell through a clubhouse roof. It was the very same one where the Heartless usually hangs out. We saw how Kurt Zisa played poker with Phantom and Ice Titan", Xaldin answered.

"I also saw Rock Titan dancing with a Wyvern", Demyx informed them.

"You saw dancing Heartless?" Zexion repeated.

"Yeah, there was a lot of them!"

"I bet it was awesome to look at but we still gotta go back to the castle", Axel said, knowing that Roxas would have wanted to go check out the dancing Heartless.

"I'd love to see dancing Heartless though", Roxas said.

"We don't have time for that, stupid", Zexion said. "Has your brain melted away because of your obvious crush on Naminé?"

"I disagree", Roxas immediately said.

"Have you read hot chocolate lately?

"Nope."

"Coffee?"

"That's disgusting!"

"Have you eaten fruits like pear?"

"Yeah!"

"How about passin fruit?"

"Yeah."

"Banana?"

"Nope."

"Sea Salt Ice Cream?"

"Yeah, millions! It's that awesome!"

"Chocolate?" Zexion went on.

"Yeah, about three times yesterday."

"Are you a fan of Miley Cyrus?"

"I will NEVER confess that I like that bitch."

"You should, or I'll kick your ass."

"Nope. Wanna fight me then?"

"No, I won't put my hands on you. They'll get dirty."

"I'm not dirty."

"Have you been thinking of Naminé more than it's healthy recently?"

"Oh, yes...?" Roxas said quietly and blushed.

"Alright then. You got a Vexen Syndrome #390. The symptoms for this disease are falling in love, closet fandom of Miley Cyrus, saying no to banana, coffee and hot chocolate, eating chocolate, Passion fruit, overeating of Sea Salt Ice Cream and a Vexenity mental disorder", Zexion said.

"What the hell is a 'Vexenity mental disorder'? And 'Vexen Syndrome #390'?"

"You are too young to understand these mental illnesses", Zexion informed him.

 _You're not the right person to critisize Roxas though, you're like, one year older than him_ , Axel found himself thinking.

"You will take your words back once I have shown you how smart I am!" Roxas threatened.

"Are you sure you're not related to Larxene somehow? You seem to have similar personality malfunction problems."

"You're pissing me off on purpose."

"I think you need therapy. I think there's something wrong with your mental health."

"Shut up, I'm perfectly fine, Zexion."

"And still you got a crush on Naminé. I think love is the most dangerous disease a person can get", Zexion said.

"I doubt you know what it really is since you barely even show any kind of human emotion", Roxas scolded.

 _Oh, that was nasty. I like a good roast once in a while, haha,_ Axel thought.

"I think your discussion is fascinating but could we just go back to the castle now? The others can't finish decorating the place before Christmas Eve."

"I agree with him, we did see something traumatizing after all", Demyx said.

"What did you see?" Axel asked curiously.  
"We saw how Luxord in his underwear flew from the castle window and fell few blocks that way", Xaldin said, pointing North.

"Our gambler flew in his underwear from the castle window?" Axel repeated and burst out laughing.

"I think we should find him first then", Roxas said, ignoring Axel's laugh.

"That would be a waste of time. That guy is the reason why Marluxia has turned into a thief", Zexion said. "Let's leave Luxord behind."

"But it's Christmas!" Demyx protested. "And he was in his underwear! He'll freeze to death if we don't do anything..."

"I need to see it", Axel said, drying his tears away. "Luxord needs to tell us what happened..."

"Looks like Demyx got what he wanted", Zexion said. "I'm disappointed in you, Axel."

"Shut up, Zexion, and move."

Zexion only shorted as a answer and followed Demyx and Xaldin, who were leading the way towards the place where Luxord had fallen to from the sky.

 _How can those two still continue their argument?_ He thought as Zexion and Roxas started arguing over something once again. _Although I think Zexion provokes people on purpose because he obviously loves to argue. He must be the only one who feels that way,_ Axel added, but then remembered that Larxene also enjoyed arguing with everyone. She, however, unlike Zexion, made her outbursts actually look kind of artistic. Of course, she did have a weird habit of literally pushing beans up into her nose whenever she got pissed. Then she screamed spit flying everywhere until she fainted due to a lack of oxygen.

"Axel, how many times do I have to warn you of walking into that goddamn lamp post?" Zexion's voice asked.

And as always, his warning came in way too late – Axel walked right into the lamp post and fell to the ground on his butt again. However, unlike last time, this time a huge pile of snow fell on his head. It even covered up his mouth. Axel got up coughing and spitting snow out of his mouth.

"Why can't you warn me earlier?" Axel questioned.

"I think it's fun to watch how you crush into something, haha", Zexion said and walked away from him.

"You know, sometimes I really think that everyone was right when they called you a annoying little midget."

"That doesn't phase me. I'm who I am and therefore adorable, haha."

"I strongly think you're not adorable..." Xaldin mumbled.

"Where's Luxord supposed to be?" Axel interrupted before the two would start arguing.

"Over there", Xaldin answered and pointed towards a alleyway few meters away from them.

"It's pretty dark over there though", Axel said, feeling suspicious. He wasn't a huge fan of darkness anyway.

"You can light our way with your fireballs", Zexion pointed out.

"Why are you so sarcastic and annoying today?" Xaldin wanted to know.

"I'm suffering from the Talk-As-Much-As-You-Can Syndrome."

"What the hell is that supposed to be?"

"It's a new disease I just came up with."  
"You should talk about this with Vexen", Roxas suggested.

"I will never share any of my findings with that psychopath", Zexion said.

"He might be interested though", Roxas went on.

"You know, Roxy Boy, you should have just stayed in the castle cuddling with Naminé and stay away from me."

"You know, Ion Troll, I don't think I will go back because I wanna see Luxord and hear his story of how he fell out from the window."

"Roxas is turning into Zexion now", Xaldin said.

"Of course", Zexion said. "I have infected him with Zexion #2 Syndrome", Zexion said seriously.

"Roxas has too many weirdly named diseases", Demyx pointed out.

"I have none of those diseases though", Roxas hastily said.

"Yes you do, and another one that you have is the Wannabe Hero Syndrome because you're always trying to look good in Naminé's eyes", Zexion said.

"Seriously dude, stop it already! You wanna fight me!?"

"Again, I will refuse because I don't want to put my hands on dirt like you."

 _A/N: Next chapter will tell the story from Demyx's point of view, and I love that one~ 3 I will post this chapter later this week, probably on Thursday._


	9. I Dunno What Just Happened (OMG)

_A/N: Damn, I'm screwed with this story lol. I thought I'd be able to translate this before Christmas but it looks like I may not be able to do so unless I finish the other story next week. Oh well, I'll just deal with it like a boss._

 _I do not own Kingdom Hearts franchise and its characters. Those belong to Square Enix and Walt Disney Interactive._

 **Chapter 9 – I Dunno What Just Happened (OMG)**

Demyx had always thought that all members of the Organization got along well enough but now he had changed his mind. There were people who kept talking about others behind their backs. It had to be a curse of some kind! After all, Demyx had always been quite superstitious and he obviously believed that the reason for such bad luck was the number of the members – which was 13. Before Roxas came along, Xemnas hadn't had any sort of mental issues nor had he thrown any tantrums. These days he got one of those at least 50 times per day.

"Everything's gone crazy after Roxas joined us", he said aloud without thinking.

"Don't blame me", Roxas immediately said.

"Yes, we do", Zexion interrupted.

"Shut it, Ion."

"Do you even know what a 'ion' is?"

"Of course I know. It's your nickname."

"That's kind of stupid..."

"Well, if you're so smart, spill the beans, shorty."

"Hey, shut up, you two. Don't you remember what we're doing here?" Axel interrupted before Zexion could even answer Roxas' question.

"I don't know why you're so interested in finding Luxord. He does nothing but steals all of our money", Zexion pointed out.

"No, it's not Luxord who's the thief. It's Marluxia", Axel corrected him. He was quiet for a moment and then added, "I think he has a crush on Larxene."

"How could someone feel attracted to Larxene?" Demyx immediately asked – even just a thought of that felt out of place.

"Maybe it's her sadistic personality", Roxas suggested.

"How could anyone be attracted to her sadistic personality?" Axel asked.

"Would you like to be with her instead?"

"No, Roxas, stop sounding like Naminé", Axel told him, and added, "Anyway, if Marluxia is able to calm her down, maybe we can all be less careful with our wallets."

"Wonderful, but could someone help me?" asked a voice from above them.

It was Luxord, who was hanging upside down on a high lamp post – which was as high as one of the houses – apparently he had been hanging on it for a couple of hours already.

"Jump down so we can see if a Nobody survives a fall on the asphalt", Zexion said.

"Shut up, shorty, and help me down!" Luxord yelled in a furious tone and tried to get down himself but it was useless – if you asked Demyx.

Suddenly, the lamp post snapped in half – how heavy was Luxord!?

"Mommy..." Luxord mumbled as he fell along with the lamp post into the asphalt with a force that damaged the ground severely.

"You are a crazy man", Zexion told him as Luxord got up to his feet.

"Well, you got the answer to your stupid scientific question now. I want your money as a payment", Luxord informed him at once.

"No, you were supposed to hit the ground face first, not back first. Therefore the experiment failed."

"Fine, I'll just ask Marluxia to steal the money", Luxord said, grinning.

"You wouldn't dare."

"I totally would. Sorry, dude."

And before the argument escalated into a war, the group went back home. As they got close, they were able to see Larxene and Marluxia putting on the Christmas lights on the castle's walls.

"You're not supposed to put it there with that tape!" Larxene furiously told Marluxia, who was using duck tape to attach the lights onto the wall.

"Those two really seem to get along well", Demyx said.

"Maybe it's Christmas", Xaldin said, looking hopeful.

 _Xaldin probably can't stand the idea of their children running around here,_ Demyx thought.

"Have you realized how Larxene never uses Marluxia's name when she's talking to him?" Roxas asked as Marluxia fixed his mistake as Larxene supervised – she had a black whip in her hands. Demyx shivered. Larxene and a whip wasn't a good combination.

"She has a whip", Demyx mumbled.

"I think she'll use it on Marluxia", Zexion said. "Like some sort of a man hater."

"You enjoy painful things way too much", Xaldin told him. "What is wrong with you and Larxene?"

"There's nothing wrong with being a little bit of a sociopath", Zexion defended himself. Then he walked into the castle while quietly singing a funeral song for the dead Christmas.

"Why does he have a obsession with funeral songs?" Xigbar asked as he came out. "He was singing a song about the death of Christmas caused by man haters."

"He just doesn't want to admit that he loves Christmas so he pretends to hate the idea", Demyx told him.

"Christmas should be switched to a whipping feast!" Larxene yelled from above. "Christmas is just a commercial fraud!"

"Calm down, Larxene. Think about it, we can eat good food and have no regrets if we gain weight", Marluxia said, taking out a red rose from his pocket. He gave the rose to Larxene, who looked shocked and then proceeded to kiss the man on the cheek.

"Did the hell freeze somewhere, or are we in a dreamworld?" Axel asked. "What just happened!?"

"Well, I think Larxene just took a rose from Marluxia and kissed him on the cheek?" Roxas said.

"Let's leave them alone and go inside", Xaldin said calmly.

"Wait, you're not shocked that this happened?" Axel wanted to know.

"Nope", Xaldin answered as he handed over few munny to Luxord, who just wrote something into a small red book.

"Another bet has been won. Thank you for your participation", Luxord said as he put Xaldin's money into his wallet. Then he walked inside the castle while he whistled a tune of a song nobody couldn't recognize.

"I guess we'll go inside too then", Axel said, still shocked at what had happened between Larxene and Marluxia.

They followed Luxord inside and immediately more weird things happened – this time it was Naminé, who shocked everybody by jumping onto Roxas.

"I was so worried that the Heartless will hurt you, Roxas!" she yelled.

"No need to worry, those little shits are nothing against me", Roxas said grinning.

 _I think Zexion does have a point when he said Roxas has a Wannabe Hero Syndrome..._ Demyx thought as Roxas began to tell overly dramatized story of himself destroying Kurt Zisa and his army on his own.

"I think we should leave Roxas alone for a moment", Demyx said. "He's lost it."

"He always does when Naminé has her hands on him", Axel shrugged. "He doesn't even hear us talking shit about him, haha."

"I knew you had it in you, you two", Zexion voice said nearby.

As Demyx turned to look, he wanted to laugh – Zexion was sitting on a chair and had a lot of Christmas themed decorations put on him by Sora, Kairi and Riku. Zexion already had a red Christmas gnome had on his hand, white scarf around his neck and red mittens in his hands. What was funny though, was the fact that it was hard to tell if Zexion was annoyed by this or not. He had a emotionless look on his face. Usually he would have lost control of his temper if something like this happened!

"Why aren't you mad?" Demyx asked.

"Xemnas is asleep, and I'm not going to wake him up because I saw something disturbing there a while ago..." Zexion answered.

"What did you see then?"

"He was fighting with a imaginary enemy. I think we need to lock him up soon. He's losing it."

"Did it really took you this long to see how mentally disabled Xemnas truly is?" Vexen, who came out of his labotary which was located in the basement.

"Wonderful", Axel said. "Were you working on your painting of the kingdom of your dreams?"

"I'm not painting. I'm working on my poem collection", Vexen corrected him, then looked like he got another idea and ran back down.

"Well, now we can say for certainly that we know what he's really doing in the basement whenever he gives us death threats or enslaves us once Vexenia has been formed", Demyx said.

"Well, doesn't matter to me. I'm already a slave", Xaldin sighed as he walked toward the weird looking throne where Saïx was sitting on.

"Saïx is drunk with power", Axel said. "And the chair has suffered from his outrages..."

"Shut up and go decorate the killer tree", Saïx told them. "I have eyes in every goddamn hole in the walls and I can see you all the time. I will fry you up if you're being lazy!"

"Literally or...?"

"Literally! Underneath Xemnas' nose!"

"Leave him alone", Demyx told Axel when he was going to say something else to Saïx.

They approached the innocent looking Christmas tree. However, Demyx was pretty sure that it was only waiting for the perfect moment to throw the aqua man out of the window again. He wasn't very eager to go to that Heartless Bar where Ice Titan tried to kill him.

"Are you really scared of this tree?" Axel asked, looking amused. "You look like it."

"I think I have every right to be a bit alarmed in its presence because in case you forgot, it threw me out of here a while ago", Demyx said.

"Fine then", Axel said, still looking amused.

"By the way, why are we decorating this tree when it was originally Larxene's and Marluxia's job?" Xaldin asked.

"Maybe they decided go on a date instead", Luxord, who was already decorating the tree. He then began to hum a song called _I Should Be So Lucky._

"Why does he listen songs like that anyway?" Axel asked. "That definitely isn't my favorite Miley Cyrus."

"I honestly have no idea", Demyx said and decided to follow Luxord onto the shaky looking ladder which were patched up with duck tape on various places.

 _I better do this since Luxord also has enough courage to do this,_ he thought as he took a box of Christmas decorations into his hands and began to climb. "If I get thrown out of here by this stupid tree, I will bite it", Demyx mumbled.

"I'll join you", Luxord, who stood on the top of the other ladder. "By the way, I accidentally walked into Vexen's lab a moment ago. I had a hard time in trying to explain that lunatic why I was there."

"But you were able to get out of there so what's the problem?" Xaldin – who was decorating the lower branches – asked.

"He wanted to do experiments on my brains", Luxord said. "I thought he was joking but then he tried to get me to the experiment room and I decided to run. That guy is a creep."

"Crap!" Demyx yelled as he was about to fall down from the ladder. "Why do we only patch these up with duck tape when we could buy new ones!?"

"Because we're poor as hell", Larxene's voice as she stepped into the room along with Marluxia, who was carrying the empty Christmas decoration boxes.

"How was your date?" Axel asked at once.

"What date?"

"The one who went to with Flower Boy, Larxene."

"We were decorating the walls, not on a date, redhead."

"Okay, let's leave them alone", Marluxia hastily said and pulled Larxene away from the group. "Let me tell you a story of a guy who..." his voice trailed away as he took Larxene to a another room.

Demyx and Axel glanced at each other, and then at Xaldin and Luxord who just shrugged as if they had known the truth the whole time.

"So it's true then? Those two are closer than everyone has thought?" Axel asked.

"You really haven't noticed it before?" Luxord asked and grinned. "You pranksters are too busy causing chaos!"

"Well... maybe... Dammit!"

"See? You can't even talk yourself out of this because you know it's true", Luxord said and laughed. "Wanna make a bet of how long their relationship is gonna last? I say two days, how about you?"

"Should I really make a bet with you? I do have money, but if I lose..."

"Let's say you only gotta pay 50 munny", Luxord said.

"Okay then. I'll bet you for 50 munny and say they'll survive until the day after Christmas", Axel said.

"Thank you. Once I win, I'll finally have my 10,000 munny I wanted to collect this year", Luxord said excitedly and almost fell off his ladder.

"Did you just make a bet of Marluxia's and Larxene's relationship?" asked Naminé from the door that Marluxia and Larxene had used earlier. Kairi was there with her, and she looked a bit annoyed about something. Was it something the guys had said?

"Their relationship will last", Naminé said.

"I'm still making that bet with Luxord, you like it or not", Axel said.

"You shouldn't", Naminé said and then exited the room with Kairi, who hadn't said anything.

"Don't think I was lying when I said I can see you at all times!" Saïx's voice rang from the next room.

 _And how in hell are you able to see through the walls anyway?_ Demyx thought.

"Keep decorating or I will come there and make you eat dead smelly fish!"

"Saïx is turning into another Xemnas", Xaldin mumbled.

Demyx agreed. He didn't like Saïx's mental breakdowns at all. Xemnas was pretty funny when he got one of those but this guy was just creepy. Demyx hoped that he wouldn't find himself eating dead fish. Even the thought of that disgusted him.

 _I wish it was Xemnas who was ordering us around now..._ Demyx thought.

 _A/N: I still have five chapters to be translated and then this story is finished. The events in the next chapter will be told from Luxord's point of view. :)_

 _And I honestly have no idea if I can finish this story by Christmas like I had planned lol._


	10. Feminine Screams (And A New Religion)

_A/N: Hey guys! Here's another new chapter for this story. :) I really had fun translating this chapter. I hope the jokes I laughed at will be funny to you guys as well. :)_

 _I do not own Kingdom Hearts franchise and its characters. Those belong to Square Enix and Walt Disney Interactive._

 **Chapter 10 – Feminine Screams (And A New Religion)**

It was a peaceful day until Xemnas was reported of what the 'killer tree' had done. He's raging woke up everybody at 6:00AM which was very surprising because usually all the shouts from the top floor did not reach the basement at all. However, this time, they did and it made Vexen run around the corridors of the castle and scream, "It's the end of the world! Xemnas has lost his mind and will destroy the world!"

Of course, that mobilized everybody – and probably every creature in the city as well – until Xemnas came down from his room to tell everyone what's up. Once he had done so, everyone looked at Vexen feeling annoyed.

"Vexen, you need to start using your brain", Larxene informed him. "For a scientist you're surprisingly stupid."

Everyone mumbled in agreement as they headed back to their rooms while Vexen was left behind to listen Xemnas' complaining.

"Someone please give me a good reason not to turn around and go beat Vexen up", Zexion said.

"We can't", Saïx mumbled and yawned.

"Yeah, I think everyone here wants to beat him up right now", Axel said. He then looked at his wrist watch. "Good, we still got five hours to sleep until we really need to wake up."

"Sounds like a fantastic idea", Demyx said grinning. "Bye guys, I'm off to bed."

"I think I'll just go work on the breakfast", Xaldin said. "I was shaken up so well that I doubt I can sleep. It sucks that my room is basically next to Xemnas'."

"So is mine", Xigbar said. "But I'm still tired as hell. Why's that?"

"Maybe it's because you watched Miley Cyrus' concert clips the whole night."

"Good point, pal."

"I'm off to bed as well", Luxord said. "Unless someone wants to lose their money this early in the morning...?"

"No, Luxord, we don't. Go to bed", Larxene said.

"Okay then, m'lady, I will", Luxord answered and yawned as he left the others and headed towards the floor where his room was located. He was really tired.

Luxord sighed when he finally got back into his room and sighed as he closed his door. For some reason he had decided to gather all of his belongings into a pile in the middle of the room. It was swaying from side to side, just like the killer tree earlier.

"Dammit, it will take a while to clean this up..." Luxord mumbled. "Ugh, I think I'm just going to bed..." he added and began to climb the pile until he reached the top where his bed was. Once he laid down, he fell asleep again.

Once Luxord woke up five hours later, and got up, he forgot his bed was on the top of a pile of stuff and that's why he fell down to the floor and swore. It really hurt.

 _But at least I'm properly awaken now,_ he thought.

Usually others basically had to get violent to get him to awake.

Someone was singing somewhere in out of tune. It was eventually followed by a noise of a lightning shock and surprised screams and then – silence.

Luxord sighed. Usual madness was going on again, so he considered on climbing into his bed agan so he could sleep a little bit more but couldn't even start climbing on the pile – it collapsed and everything fell on top of him. It took a while for him to be able to dig himself out of the mass – somehow he had also dressed up while doing so – and wondered why nobody else had heard the noise.

"Who the hell screamed just now? Was it Larxene?" asked Xigbar's voice in the corridor.

"I think it was Luxord. I heard a loud crash coming from his room a moment after that", Zexion's joyless voice answered.

Luxord got up from the floor and headed towards the door. It was opened at the same moment from the other side and caused Luxord to stumble and fall on the floor again as the door hit him right into his face.

"Why are you sitting on the floor like that?" Xigbar asked curiously.

"What're you doing here?" Luxord asked at the same time as he massaged his Adam's apple which had also got hit by the door somehow.

"I feel bad for you", Zexion said.

"Shut it, kid. Is Xemnas back to normal?"

"He is. He decided to take over and is now sitting on Saïx's throne."

"Is the throne still in one piece?"

"Yeah, and then a new one was found somewhere. It was annoying because I had to help Xigbar and Xaldin to carry it down from the top floor to the first. Then we had to put it up on a pedestal that had been built by Larxene and Marluxia. Then Xemnas appeared wearing fur cloak, sceptre in his hand and a Miss Hollow crown on his head. I don't know where the crown is from though", Zexion explained.

"I wonder what's wrong with this idiot", Luxord wondered. "He isn't usually this crazy."

"Hard to say. I think it's contagious. Saïx still thinks he can see through walls", Xigbar said.

"YES I CAN!" Saïx said from the corridor.

Luxord got so surprised that he jumped and screamed in a very feminine voice.

Zexion looked at him for a moment, then turned around and left the room while he mumbled something nobody understood.

"Xigbar, did I really just scream like a woman?" Luxord asked.

Xigbar nodded. "I'm sorry, but you really do sound like a woman."

"Oh for the sausages' and Saïx's eyeballs' sake!"

"You really are a woman, dude. You can't even cuss like a man..." Xigbar mumbled and left the room.

"I can't cuss like men?" Luxord mumbled.

He got up from the floor and exited the room. Clean up mission had to wait for later. He was too hungry to even think about it. Maybe he could even lure someone to play some poker with him. Of course, everyone had gotten a lot smarter. They didn't give in as easily as they used to so Luxord would have to outsmart them somehow – which was pretty easy to be honest.

"Help me!" Xemnas' voice suddenly said from above. "How is it that you can only make dysfunctional parallelograms instead of a normal sized pedestal!?" man ranted on.

It was only then when Luxord realized that he had walked right into the weirdly shaped pedestal – and for once, he agreed with his leader. This thing was definitely dysfunctional.

"Um, could you please translate that weird language into something we understand?" Larxene asked but Xemnas didn't answer her – he was too busy trying to stop his chair from falling from the pedestal.

"Lux, I'm going to win you in Poker one day", Marluxia said grinning.

"Are you drunk?" Luxord asked.

"Not that I know", pink haired man answered and turned around to look at Larxene. "Am I sober?" he asked her.

Larxene had a hard time to keep the serious expression on her face.

"Well, it depends. Have you been drinking tea?" blonde woman asked.

"I think so, after we ate that amazing rice porridge you made this morning", Marluxia said.

"Then you must be drunk."

"I will never get over the fact that these two are in a relationship", Axel's voice said.

"I will never admit it", Larxene told him.

"You don't need to. We can see it clearly."

"Come with me, Marluxia", blonde woman just said, grabbed Marluxia's arm and dragged him away from others who watched them go.

"Those two just pretty much clarified that they are in a relationship", Axel said grinning.

"Why do they even keep it a secret, I wonder", Luxord said and tapped his chin with one of his fingers.

"Maybe they think Xemnas doesn't approve – which would be stupid because our leader obviously cares more about parallelogram ride on a chair than his subordinates' relationships", Axel said, pointing at their mighty leader who was still trying to immobilize his chair.

 _He looks hilarious,_ Luxord thought and sniggered.

"Okay, people!" Xemnas said as he kept sliding down the parallelogram pedestal, "Shouldn't you keep decorating the house?"

"We should make Zexion look more festive", Kairi suggested.

"NO WAY IN HELL", Zexion yelled and ran away as Sora, Kairi and Riku began to chase after him while laughing like lunatics. "NO!" Zexion's voice yelled in the stairs to the second floor.

"Why do they bully Ion like this?" Demyx asked.

"Why do you ask me? I don't know everything", Luxord answered.

"I want to know that, too", Larxene said.

"It's a new form of religion called Elfism", Axel said. "It's solely based on worshipping Santa Claus as a god, and wesacrificemistletoesforyouandMarluxia and convert someone Anti-Christmas person into a believer", Axel said.

"Hmm, I think I heard words 'you' and 'Marluxia' somewhere in that weird mumbling, Axel", Larxene pointed out.

"You heard wrong."

"I don't think I did", Larxene said, smiling. "Don't worry, I'll only give you a medium sized electronic shock, Axel –"

"Ugh, I shouldn't have waken up", Vexen's voice interrupted. He looked around for a moment, and then turned around. "Time to go back, I guess. Vexenia, I'm comin' for ya, babe!" he said as he hurried back into the basement.

"I don't know what's going on with that guy either", Luxord immediately said – just in case someone would try to ask him something about him.

"I think Vexen is just plain insane", Xaldin said.

"I think so too", Larxene said.

"He was yelling Vexenia related catch phrases all night long last night", Marluxia said and yawned. "I hate it when he does that."

"Wait, is Vexen still dreaming of that stupid kingdom of his?" Xemnas asked. Then he looked at himself and said, "What the hell am I wearing?"

"What the... he didn't know what he was wearing?" Luxord said, feeling surprised.

"Why is there decorations everywhere in my castle!?" silver haired man went on.

"Holy shit, did he actually return to normal?" Demyx asked.

"Goddammit! Now he's gonna order us to put these decorations away and we're almost done!" Axel said furiously.

"Let's lock him into the closet and let him out after Christmas", Demyx suggested.

"Do you really think he can't get out?" Luxord asked.

"He doesn't want to come out if he has a teddy bear there with him."

"I don't know who you are anymore", Larxene and Xaldin said simultaneosly while Marluxia nodded in agreement.

"Did you say we got a killer Christmas Tree here?" Xemnas asked as he threw the cloak, crown and the sceptre away – they flew right into the room where the said tree was. They were thrown back into the hall, which scared Xemnas – he fell off the parallelogram pedestal.

"Did he just say 'Kamikaze'?" Demyx asked as Xemnas had stood up again.

"I'm sorry if it offends your feelings, Demyx", silver haired man said and turned his attention to Axel. "Christmas?"

"Yes, Christmas. It's a annual celebration. Lots of red, mistletoes and glogg. Not to mention the Anti-Christmas people like Zexion converted into believers of Elfism."

"That sounds really dangerous", Xemnas pointed out.

"Let's also have a Christmas Karaoke!" Xigbar yelled from the roof where he was standing upside down for a reason Luxord didn't want to know.

"Wait, what?" Xemnas asked. "Also, what are you doing up there, idiot?"

"Christmas Karaoke. Let's have one", Xigbar said as he came down. "I had no real reason to be up there. I just felt like doing so", he added.

"You just want to sing Miley Cyrus songs, don't you?" Axel asked.

"Why not? She's great, and I know all the words!"

"We don't want to hear you sing her song. You're always out of tune", Marluxia said. "Sorry, dude."

"So no karaoke then", Xigbar said.

"No, we can have a karaoke but there should be a more diverse selection of songs", Axel said.

"Well, that settles it then."

"You really want it to happen, don't you?"

"I totally want. Karaoke is awesome."

"I disagree", Xemnas said.

"Hey, everybody", Roxas' voice said from the stairs. "Why are Sora, Riku and Kairi chasing after Zexion in the second floor? Their expressions were insane."

"They're trying to convert Zexion into Elfism", Axel said.

"What's that?"

"It's a new Christmas related religion", Luxord explained.

"Sounds awesome", Roxas grinned. "It should be a daily thing!"

"Now he's turning into one of those lunatics too", Marluxia predicted.

"Not today."

"Hmm, where did those four go though?" Xaldin said. "We should go look for them. Maybe they got lost."

"Or worse, Zexion might actually get converted", Axel said and grinned. "That would be interesting..."

"Okay, you go search them and I'll go to this room right here..." Xemnas said, having a distracted look on his face as he walked away.

"What's up with him?" Luxord asked curiously. "Also, would you like to make a bet on how long it will take until he snaps again?"

"No, Luxord. Stop trying", Axel said. "Also, Xemnas went to the room where the killer Christmas Tree is, you know..."

 _A/N: So here we are. Next chapter will be told from Marluxia's point of view._

 _Also, I'm gonna try my best to finish this story by Christmas (In my country it's December 24th) but I don't know if I'm able to. I'm trying to finish my Fairy Tail fanfic as well before Christmas but we'll see what happens. :)_


	11. Search pt2 (Party Time!)

_A/N: Hey guys! I decided to update this one again because Christmas is near and I'd really want this to be finished by then._

 _I do not own Kingdom Hearts franchise and its characters. Those belong to Square Enix and Walt Disney Interactive._

 **Chapter 11 – Search pt.2 (Party Time!)**

"I think we can't find them", Axel said after the they had gone through all the rooms in the castle.

"I doubt Xemnas is worried if they disappear", Xigbar said

Axel nodded.

Marluxia looked at the duo – they seemed to be really good friends at the moment even though they used to rivals.

"Hey, Flower Boy, what are you lookin' at?" Xigbar asked.

"I was just thinking how your eyes are about to pop out. You should stop reading or at least not do it so often. I think you should have a plastic surgery, too..." Marluxia said – and wondered what the hell he was talking about.

"Ew, don't ever say anything like that to me again", Xigbar said, looking furious. "I'm not going to a madhouse where people cut my face to make it look better. That's fucked up."

"I just told you the truth. You shouldn't have asked if you get so triggered over it", Marluxia said – and still wondered why he was saying stupid things like this anyway.

"You're too obsessed with looks", Xigbar shot back and grinned. "Tell us, what is it that attracts you in Larxene?"

"I'm not going to talk about Larxene", Marluxia said hastily and swore. How had these stupid idiots realized what was going on!? He had told Larxene that no one would notice!

"You got busted already, you know?"

"...Shit", Marluxia said, defeated.

"You should've been more careful", said Zexion's voice quietly from a big, brown vase nearby. He was holding the cover up with his hand. He looked around carefully and then threw the cover onto the floor and climbed out from the vase. He then hid behind Axel.

"You should just deal with it and be a Christmas Elf for a while", Marluxia said.

Zexion said something unintelligible which Marluxia could not understand.

Soon it was followed by a lunatic laugh of Sora, Riku and Kairi from somewhere from the corridor they were in. All three of them appeared from a old unused storage room with a box of Christmas decorations in it.

Zexion looked like he wanted to disappear at once.

Marluxia had to admit that he did feel a bit bad for Zexion. Why was he even harassed so much? Marluxia didn't understand that at all. What's the point in harassing someone and not just accepting their opinions?

"I truly despise the fact that this trio is obsessed with Christmas – which is pretty much what Axel is as well", Zexion mumbled.

"Don't be scared, Ion", Axel said. "There are things that are far worse than Christmas!"

"What's that?"

"Midsummer Day for example. It sucks because we always gotta compete of who is the last one awake at 6:00am, remember? I lose every time!"

"Oh yeah, you do, loser."

"Shut up."

"There he is!" Kairi's voice rang through the corridor. "Catch him!"

Zexion noticed them, and tried run away when Riku and Sora caught him. They sat him down on a stool and began to dress him up into a Christmas themed clothes again. Zexion looked absolutely defeated because of it.

"Poor you", Marluxia said and grinned.

"You won't be grinning once I catch you and make you suffer, Flower Boy!" Zexion spat.

"Quiet!" Kairi told him.

"Stop putting that stupid hat on my head!"

"Yes I will, dude, it will make you melt into the Christmas theme."

"Why do those two argue like a married couple?" Xaldin wanted to know.

"Maybe they're secretly together and just pretends to hate each other?" Marluxia suggested – he was secretly glad that the discussion of him and Larxene had died – and grinned at Zexion, who shot him a death glare.

"Now that we found these four, I say we go back to check out on Xemnas", Xigbar said. "I mean, I doubt we'd like to go search him from the city..."

"But we might get lucky and find him hanging on a lamp post like Lux was", Axel said.

"Xigbar does have a point though", Xaldin said. "We should check out if Xemnas is still sane."

"Fine. Are you OK, Ion?"

"I'd feel better if you just made this stop", came the answer.

"Quiet", Kairi said. "You're gonna be the Christmas Elf, you like it or not..."

"I'm gonna make you suffer for this, redhead."

When Marluxia and the others got back from their trip to find Zexion and his three new 'friends', they headed towards the room where the Christmas Tree was. They were all very surprised to see that Xemnas was still standing there – although he was looking at the tree with a suspicious look on his face. Marluxia was pretty sure that this man was about to lose his sanity once again.

"Xemnas, what are you doing?" Larxene asked as she was passing him.

"This tree is laughing at me", Xemnas said.

"It's not laughing at you."

"Where's Vexen?" Xemnas changed the subject and looked around in the room.

"I'm pretty sure you can find him in his lab, as always", Xaldin said.

"I question his sanity severely now", Xemnas said as he massaged his temples. "This tree is dangerous. Why did he choose a plastic tree instead of a real one?"

"Because he doesn't care about our well being", said Zexion's voice from the doorway, where he stood as he ripped off the Christmas decorations on himself. "But it's adorable that you do, Xemnas."

"Shut up, shorty. It's my job to care."

"Sure, dude", Zexion said.

"So, Xemnas", Axel interrupted. "Are you planning on killing someone or something soon?"

"Yes, why?" Xemnas answered calmly – which made chills go down Marluxia's spine – and looked at Axel quizzical look on his face.

"I was thinking that you probably should keep your murderous desire under control until after Christmas Eve."

"I'd rather do it now but I think I'll be merciful just this one time."

"Vexen will probably run away the moment he realizes he's in danger."

"Then we'll track him down and feed this tree to him."

 _Why can't I be as scary as Xemnas?_ Marluxia found himself thinking.

"It's nice to see Xemnas thinking straight again", Xaldin said. "How did you recover from your mental breakdown so fast though?"

"What breakdown? I never had one", Xemnas said.

"You didn't? Well, it's OK if you think so", Xaldin said and grinned.

But Marluxia wasn't interested in their discussion anymore. He was too interested in the fact that Naminé and Roxas were standing directly underneath one of the well hid mistletoes he had put up last night. He had done it on purpose – mainly for himself and Larxene, of course.

Speaking of Larxene, she was walking towards one well hid mistletoe and Marluxia was about to start cheering inside his mind, but ended up getting disappointed as the mistletoe fell onto the floor right in front of her.

"What the hell is this?" Larxene demanded to know as she picked it up. "A mistletoe?"

"Mistletoes?" Naminé asked. "I bet Marluxia put them up."

"Is that so?" Larxene said, and looked at the pink haired man. "Did you do this?"

"Yes, and so what?" Marluxia challenged them.

"It's kinda like trying to force us to kiss you", Naminé said.

"Or maybe it's just a tradition that I like", Marluxia shot back and grinned. "What's wrong with it? You obviously wanna kiss Roxas so you should be thankful."

Naminé tried to come up with a clever comeback, but failed miserably and sighed in defeat.

"Fine, you win this round but next time I'll make you regret this."

"That's impossible", Marluxia said as she left the room.

"Did you really hide mistletoes into this room?" Luxord asked amused look on his face.

"Yes, and Naminé thinks it's a sexist tradition somehow."

"Luckily I don't need to care. Wanna play poker with me?"

"Why do you always end up asking if I wanna gamble with you?"

"Because you're the only one who still wants to do so, and playing poker on Christmas is _my_ tradition", Luxord said. "So?"

"I have to decline. I have other plans..." Marluxia said and glanced towards Larxene, who was still looking at the mistletoe in her hands. She looked thoughtful.

Luxord glanced at her, and then grinned. "Good luck with that, dude, you're gonna need it."

Then the gambler began to sing something that made no sense as he walked out of the room.

"I'd like to know what that weird song was", Xaldin said.

"Same here", said DiZ, who was doing excerising nearby in a orange jumpsuit, and added, "This Christmas is crazy. And you keep chasing the same woman year after year. Why don't you give up already?"

"I don't chase her", Marluxia defended himself.

"Really? Was it the other way around then? I can't remember that..."

"You were drunk from the Sea Salt Ice Cream every day that year. Of course you don't remember how everything went."

"Hey, don't go there. I can't resist the sweet salty flavor of that addictive ice cream."

"You need to join that rehab group _Get Freed From Ice Cream Addiction_ , or GFFICA for short, if your addiction is that bad."

"Shut up, stupid", DiZ said. "I'm a king, and I do not join any rehab clubs. I don't need them."

"Then get yourself a wife and cuddle her."

"What?"

"Wife. A female whom you dedicate the rest of your life to", Marluxia explained.

"I know what that means."

"Really? I thought you didn't."

"Marluxia, come over here", Larxene's voice interrupted before the argument escalated into something violence.

"Yes, dear?" Marluxia asked.

"I need your help to carry the gift bags from the 90th floor", Larxene calmly said.

"Sure, I can help you", pink haired man said. "Unless you're secretly planning on killing me."

"No, Marluxia, I'm not planning on harming you in any way."

"Well then, let's do this."

"Why do you want to bring them down, Larxene?" Xaldin asked.

"Because I caught Axel and Xigbar trying to steal one of the bags a hour ago", Larxene answered. "Let's go, Marluxia."

"Sure, let's do it", Marluxia said, feeling happy that he could spend some time with the woman he loved.

 _A/N: Wow, I translated this just a few minutes before Once Upon A Time is supposed to air in my country. You have no idea how glad it makes me, lol._

 _Next chapter will be written from Larxene's point of view._


	12. Mistletoes (What The HELL?)

_A/N: Hey guys! It's time to update this story once again._

 _I do not own Kingdom Hearts franchise and its characters. Those belong to Square Enix and Walt Disney Interactive._

 **Chapter 12 – Mistletoes (What The HELL!?)**

"How can you be like this, even though Xemnas has said we don't have hearts?" Larxene asked curiously from Marluxia as the couple walked back into the room where the 'Killer Christmas Tree' was. They had already brought down the other bags. The only one that was left was the one Marluxia was carrying.

"I don't know", Marluxia said and put the bag on the floor.

He then straightened back up and along the way his back gave a loud crack sound as if it was going to snap in half. Marluxia didn't care – he just picked up the huge bag and put it on his shoulder again. He continued walking towards their destination as Larxene stayed behind.

 _Maybe I should've asked Xigbar and Lexaeus do this instead of Marluxia,_ blonde woman found herself thinking. It really startled her. _Wait, am I actually worried of Marluxia's well being this much!? I don't get this – why do I think about these things?_

Marluxia was really nice to her though. Yet he also knew how to annoy her beyond belief. But still, she obviously cared about him more than she was ready to admit. How did this happen? When did it happen? And how is it even possible when – as a Nobody – she wasn't supposed to even have a heart?

"This isn't like me at all", Larxene mumbled as she followed Marluxia.

They reached the room, where everyone else was already watching at the gifts underneath the tree longingly. Kairi was holding a star shaped present and looked thoughtful as she looked at the tree and the limited space underneath it. She probably also felt scared that the tree would throw her out of the window – which wouldn't happen since the windows were closed.

"Did you notice that the windows are closed, Kairi?" blonde woman asked her.

"Yes, but I doubt the glass will stop the Killer Tree from killing us", redhead answered.

"Hey, Marluxia, didn't you notice that Larxene walked right underneath a mistletoe a moment ago?" Luxord said from the other side of the room. "Shouldn't you do something about it, lover boy?"

"Wait, what?" Marluxia asked, and looked at Larxene. "Did you walk underneath mistletoes without me noticing it?"

"I may or may not have done so", Larxene answered. "But it happened just once."

"Once is enough for me", Marluxia said and then surprised Larxene with a kiss right on the mouth.

Larxene didn't even back off from it – it was suddenly obvious that what she felt for this pink haired man was a lot more deeper than she had thought.

"There", Marluxia said as they broke apart.

"I think I should walk underneath those mistletoes more often", Larxene said so quietly that only Marluxia heard her. He grinned.

"Please do so, beautiful, I'll make it worth it", he told her.

 _He certainly will,_ Larxene thought and smiled.

"What the hell is this?" Xemnas asked, and successfully interrupted their little moment. "Since when have you two been –"

"For months, dude", Marluxia interrupted. "I'm actually surprised nobody didn't notice it until now."

"Is he serious?" Axel asked, surprised. "Larxene?"

"Yep, he's serious", blonde answered and rolled her eyes. "I don't know why you're all so surprised. Things happen. Deal with it."

"It was probably that one mission to the Pride Rock when you got together. You were so weird when you came back", Luxord said. "But then again, that mission took you 2 months so..."

"Hmm, it looks like you already lost our bet, Luxord", Axel said. "Those two has been together for at least 5 months now and you said their relationship will only last for two days."

"No, dude", Luxord said. "They might still break up."

"Excuse me, but we're both still in this room", Marluxia told them.

"Yeah, if you need to talk about your stupid bet, do it somewhere where I can't hear you", Larxene said while raising her other eyebrow.

"Just make sure that you're together until New Years Eve at least", Axel said. "I'm gonna be rich on 00:01am when the bet officially ends."

"Hey, you can't do that! That's cheating!" Luxord said and slapped him. "You obviously have no idea what the rules of betting are."

"I do, and we never said, 'do not cheat'", Axel said grinning. "So, I can cheat."

Luxord looked amusing as he tried to come up with a clever comeback but failed. He only sighed and walked away from the scene.

"Ha, I succeeded", Axel said. Then he sighed. "Although I went and changed my bet into a higher one so if you two break up now, I'll lose all of my money..."

"Luxord is right though", Marluxia said. "You shouldn't cheat on his bets. He will find a way to make you lose all of your money even if we helped you, Axel."

"Damn", Axel growled. "Oh well, I just gotta wish for the best then."

He turned around and attempted to walk out of the room, but suddenly found himself laying on the polished floor. "Who the fuck polished this floor without telling me!?" redhead yelled as he slid on the floor from side to side.

"I think we have another mental breakdown in our hands now", Marluxia quietly said.

"I don't really see any difference compared to Axel's normal behaviour", Larxene said.

"Xemnas, it's not a bomb. Put it back down", Naminé interrupted their discussion.

Larxene turned to look and saw Xemnas holding a present in his hands. He looked at it suspiciously as if it was a bomb or something.

"I don't believe you, little girl. This could easily be one of Vexen's bombs..." Xemnas said and shook the present a bit while he tried to listen if there were possible ticking noises coming from it – he failed.

"Xemnas, it's jsut a present", Saïx said. "Not a bomb. You need to stop watching TV shows were bombs are found everywhere. They're obviously ruining your brains and turn you into a delusional moron."

"Shut up, Saïx, and make sure nothing's gonna explode."

"OMG THIS ONE!" Xigbar roared and raised one square shaped present over his head, "This one is officially the best one..."

"How can you be sure that it contains that stupid CD of that mentally unbalanced singer?" Lexaeus asked. "That present could be a nice set of napkins instead, you know?"

"Who cares about napkins when there's Miley Cyrus to listen to?" Xigbar asked.

"Napkins are very useful."

"Also, Xigbar, you're not going to open that gift just yet", Naminé said, as she took the present from his hands and put it back into the pile underneath the Christmas Tree – Larxene noticed that the star shaped present had also finally found a place for itself.

"You're so cruel", Xigbar complained.

"You're kind of turning into a new Larxene now", Xaldin said. "Why's that, Naminé?"

"Well, according to Zexion and his very creative list of diseases, I have a Wannabe Larxene Syndrome #9674", Naminé said. "I don't know the symptoms though. He got too busy with running away from me suddenly. I don't know why."

"Oh, my back hurts so much now..." Axel murmured as he passed the group. "Also, there's something above you two", he added and grinned.

"What?" Larxene asked and looked up.

Another mistletoe. Great.

"That isn't supposed to be there", Marluxia said immediately.

"You think I actually care about who did that?" Larxene asked and then surprised herself, Marluxia and everyone by kissing the pink haired man.

"Looks like you don't", Marluxia said as they broke apart. "I really like this Larxene though."

"YOU ARE NOT WINNING THE BET!" Luxord roar interrupted their little moment.

"Wow, dude! Never thought I'd see you this nervous!" Axel said laughing. "You shouldn't have put so much money into it!"

"I will make you lose no matter what!"

"What's this?" Roxas asked, looking completely clueless.

"Well, it looks like Axel's going to win the bet they made a while ago and Luxord is nervous because he got too cocky", Xaldin explained. He was wearing a black chef uniform, and was writing furiously on a roll of parchment with a quill.

 _I wonder where he found that outfit though... unless he made it himself,_ Larxene found herself thinking.

"Wouldn't that make Axel the first person to win a bet against Luxord?" Roxas said.

"Yes, and that doesn't please Luxord at all obviously. He's too used to winning these", Xaldin grinned. "Kinda hilarious if you ask me..."  
"SHUT UP, XALDIN, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT LOSING FEELS LIKE!" Luxord shouted.

"I have lost about 30 bets against you. I think I know perfectly well what it feels like", Xaldin calmly answered and scribbled something on the parchment on his hands.

"I think you should just end the bet right here and now", Larxene interrupted. "We aren't planning on breaking up so just pay Axel your debt, Luxord."

"But –"

"No, this whole bet is retarded. You should have just asked if we were together or not rather than coming up with stupid shit like this, guys."

"She's right", Roxas said.

"Oh, let's change the bet!" Luxord said. "We'll make it about you and Naminé!"

"No, we aren't going to change it, idiot, hand over the money", Axel said. "If you wanna make a bet regarding my best friend and his crush, we'll make a new one."

"But –"

"No buts, Luxord, you lost. Take it like a man."

"How can we be sure I was the one who lost?" Luxord tried.

"You lost because we have been together for five months, Luxord", Marluxia said. "Give him the money."

"Fine then", Luxord said, sighing. He then pulled out a munny pouch from his pocket, opened it, and took out 50 munny.

"We changed the price to 600, remember?" Axel said.

"Why do you have to remember things so well!?" Luxord complained and took out more money which he dropped into Axel's hands.

"I remember because I love my money", redhead said.

Luxord shot him a death glare as he put his pouch back into his pocket. "It was a displeasure to do business with you, Axel."

"No, it's 'it was a pleasure to do business with you, Axel'", Axel said as she dropped the munny into his pouch which he then put back into his pocket.

"Why do you yell here like this? My ears are hurting", Zexion complained as he came in.

"It was Luxord who yelled because he couldn't deal with loss", Axel explained. "And I won the bet I made with him."

"His suffering pleases me."

"You disgust me", Luxord told them.

"Just take it like a real man, Luxord", Axel said and laughed. "Besides, you can always make Marluxia play poker and lose everything."

Luxord turned around to look at Marluxia hopefully.

"No dude, not this time", Marluxia told him. "I'm not in the mood for poker."

"TRAITOR!"

"Oh, my ear drums..." Zexion said and covered his ears with his hands.

 _A/N: So, here it is. Next chapter will be written in Roxas' point of view and will finally include some Naminé/Roxas in it._


	13. Presents (Can't Really Tell)

_A/N: Hey guys! This is the last chapter of this story. It's actually two chapters in one because the chapter 14 is only 2 pages long so I should just add it here as the final scene of this story._

 _I do not own Kingdom Hearts franchise and its characters. Those belong to Square Enix and Walt Disney Interactive._

 **Chapter 13 – Presents (Can't Really Tell...)**

Opening presents had always been the best thing about Christmas in Roxas' opinion. Everyone was happy – and calm. Even Xemnas, who had been on the verge of going crazy before. He was now smiling as he hugged a new teddy bear that Larxene had bought to him. Of course, Roxas was pretty sure that the craziest outburst was on its way. Xemnas was more or less unstable after all.

"Those two are too close", Demyx said, looking at Axel and Xigbar who were sitting in the middle of the gift wrapping paper. Both of them also had ribbons around their heads.

"Normally I wouldn't admit it, but I think you're right", Zexion said.

"Since when has Axel been a fan of Miley Cyrus anyway?" Roxas asked. He was unable to understand why did Xigbar say that this singer was great. Roxas didn't find her pleasant to listen to. But what really surprised him was the fact that Axel also seemed to be a fan.

"He's a closet fan and thinks we don't know about it yet", Zexion said.

"But if he's a closet fan, why does he sit here listening to her then?"

"Because he's retarded and too drunk on Christmas spirit to care."

"Are we really talking about same guy here?" Roxas asked, finding it hard to believe that Axel would like someone like Miley Cyrus. Redhead usually critisized her of everything she did so he couldn't be a fan, right?

"Yes, we are, retard", Zexion said in a mocking tone as he turned around and walked away.

"Hey! I'm not a retard!" Roxas yelled after him, feeling more than just annoyed.

"Calm down, prince charming", Demyx said.

"What the hell?"

"You're Naminé's prince charming."

"Yeah right. She doesn't need a prince charming."

"I think she does."

"Are you sure you don't wanna see that present shoved up into your nose?" Roxas asked, rising his eyebrow. He did feel annoyed though – he lost his temper way too easily.

"Calm down, boy, you need to do something about those anger issues of yours", Demyx said and began to play his sitar.

 _I wonder what Naminé thinks about me..._ Roxas thought. _Demyx is right – I do behave like a idiot most of the time anyway,_ he added as he picked up his unwrapped gift and looked at it suspiciously.

He wasn't sure if he should open it or not. Larxene had bought it for him, and Roxas knew all too well that this woman had a weird sense of humour. Roxas wouldn't be surprised if Larxene had bought him something deadly dangerous. Of course, right now the blonde woman was more interested in looking into Marluxia's eyes rather than checking out the reactions to her presents.

"I still have a hard time to accept that those two are together..." Roxas said as he saw Marluxia and Larxene hold each other's hands.

"And I still have a hard time to accept that you two aren't together", Demyx said.

"Who? Me and Larxene?"

"No, I mean you and Naminé."

"Oh."

"Why don't you use your charm on her?"

"It's not like me."

"You want her to be the one to make the first move? Dude!"

"What's with these questions, wannabe Zexion?" Roxas demanded to know.

"I'm just curious!" Demyx defended himself. "Answer my question, dude, you're not gonna die."

"Here, have a big pile of 'NOPE', Demyx", Roxas said and offered a imaginary bowl to him.

"No, I'd rather ask you over and over again until you'll answer me", Demyx said grinning.

"I don't share my thoughts with you. Besides, I doubt you're even seriously interested."

"Well, on that we can agree on."

"Of course, I'm always right."

Demyx laughed. "Yeah right, you were _so_ right when you were sure that Vexen is able to get out of the way before the truck hit him."

"Well that was last year", Roxas said. "Don't be stuck in the past, Demyx. Forget it."

"I'm not stuck in the past, Roxas."

"Okay kids, time to eat some more porridge", Xaldin's voice said behind them.

"What's with the hat, Xaldin?" Roxas asked.

"What's with the unopened gift in your hands, Roxas?" Xaldin shot back at once. "You do know that we weren't supposed to open them yet?"

"Well, Xemnas and others did not get the memo", Roxas said and pointed at everyone who were checking out the gifts they had received.  
"Well shit then", Xaldin said.

"What's up with the outfit?" Demyx interrupted.

"I'm the one who makes your food, Demyx, in case you didn't notice it yet."

"Oh, well, I guess that's nice then."

"I also advice you to eat before Xemnas gets his annual, world famous Christmas madness and he decides to 'kill' the tree. Last time I had to clean up this place and it took 2 days and 3 nights."

"I have no memory of that."

"You weren't here when it happened. I think you were with Roxas and others in Traverse Town at the time", Xaldin explained as he put Christmas porridge into two pink colored bowls. He handed those bowls to Roxas and Demyx.

"MINT!" Demyx yelled excitedly.

He didn't even notice how he almost threw the bowl right into Vexen's face.

"Be careful, stupid kid, or I'll cut you open", mad scientist said.

"Stop being so quiet then! It's hard to see you!" Demyx yelled at him.

"That's because I got no shoes on", Vexen said.  
"Why?"

"Because I'm a great artist of science."

"Try this", Xaldin ordered him and shoved a bowl of porridge into his hands.

Vexen looked at the bowl and looked disgusted. "This is green, Xaldin."

"It's made of Mint", Xaldin explained. "I've been experimenting with different flavor mixes and came up with this. Demyx seems to love it."

Vexen looked at him as if Xaldin was crazy.

"What?" Xaldin soon said.

"Nothing", Vexen hastily said. He looked around in the room and noticed Xemnas cuddling with a teddy bear. "How come that guy is still sane?"

"I dunno", Xaldin said.

"We gotta make the seizure happen so I can take the tree and start doing tests on it", Vexen said thoughtful look on his face. He left the group and joined Xemnas and Saïx.

It was then when Roxas noticed how weird Xigbar and Axel looked as they sung a song nobody recognized.

"Are they OK?" Xaldin asked.

"I doubt it. I think someone gave them salty liquorice again", Roxas sighed.

Xaldin sighed as well, and then left the two boys and began serve porridge to everyone else as well. Larxene was just as excited as Demyx about it. She even went completely out of character and pulled up a short breakdance number on the floor because of it. Eventually Marluxia had to calm her down.

"Thank you, Marluxia", Larxene said.

"Is it safe to give you this bowl?" pink haired man asked worriedly.

"It is. Excitement has died already", Larxene answered.

"Her reaction was worse than Demyx's was", Xigbar pointed out – apparently he had seen the reaction despite being 'drunk on Christmas spirit' – as he looked at Larxene with a confused look on his face.

Axel's expression was just as confused.

Larxene sighed and dramatically threw her arms into the air. "What have I done to deserve to be in a group like this!?"

"Hey, that's my line!" Xemnas protested. "But oh well, I'll forgive you this one time because you bought me a new teddy bear", he added and cuddled with the bear some more.

"Oh... You're welcome...?" Larxene said, looking just as confused as Axel and Xigbar a moment ago. "Anyway... Marluxia, come with me for a minute", she added and headed out of the room.

Marluxia followed her without saying anything.

 _I think Larxene is the dominating one in that relationship,_ Roxas thought as he watched them go.

"Oh my God, you bought me new Copic markers", Naminé said excitedly. "You really are sweet sometimes."

"Does that mean we're usually douchebags?" Xigbar asked.

"Well, not all the time but many of you are complete douchebags."

"That probably excludes Roxas."

" _Xigbar!_ " Naminé protested and her cheeks turned deep shade of red.

Roxas decided to stay quiet and just concentrated on his porridge. _She's so cute when she's mad,_ he thought.

"You got B-U-S-T-E-D", Xigbar said in a sing song voice.

Roxas wasn't that sad that Xigbar had made Naminé reveal her feelings publicly. It would make Roxas' life a lot easier because now he could ditch all of his pathetic plans to make her reveal them to him.

Suddenly, a loud, evil laugh rang in the room from the directon of the Christmas Tree. And as expected, Xemnas took that as a insult directed at himself and went berserk at once. Roxas decided to go further away from the tree because he knew that Xemnas would cause a lot of chaos now. He had experienced that last year for the first time and those weren't his favorite memories.

"Xemmy, be careful", Luxord said. "It might kick you out."

"I don't give a damn!" Xemnas yelled and pulled out a Masamune from one of his bottomless pockets. He swung the sword at the tree in a attempt at trying to slice it into pieces but because the branches were flexible, they only bent a bit but didn't got cut in half at all.

"Xemnas, it's gonna fall on you if you don't stop!" Xaldin yelled.

"I don't care! I just want to destroy it!" Xemnas growled and fell on the floor as one of the branches slapped him right into the jaw.

"I think it was Vexen who laughed behind the tree", Xigbar said as the rest of them avoided the pissed off Xemnas as best as they could.

"What was that weird laugh?" Marluxia's voice asked from the doorway. He and Larxene stepped into the room and had curious looks on their faces.

"It came from behind the tree", Axel said. "And Xemnas – as usual – lost his mind again."

"Wow, 4 hours too early", Zexion said as he entered the room again. "I brought the popcorn and three bottles of Pepsi Max."

He put them on the floor and then walked over to the red sofa which he began to move around the room. He obviously wanted to make sure that he could have the best angle of when the tree would finally fall on Xemnas. As he got the sofa to a perfect position, he picked up the popcorn bowl and the Pepsi bottles and sat down.

"I guess we should just chill and watch the entertainment", Axel shrugged and also sat on the sofa which was soon crowded because everyone followed his example.

"Where's Vexen, by the way?" Axel asked few hours later – Xemnas was now using a sledgehammer and Roxas felt pain in his chest as the decorations fell on the floor. He had had a hard time to put those decorations on the branches!

"Last time I saw him he was looking at the tree", Demyx said.

"What the hell are you doing, Xemnas!?" Larxene yelled.

Roxas couldn't have asked a better question – Xemnas had thrown the sledgehammer away and it had gone through the nearby wall and the 'mighty' leader of the Organization XIII was now climbing the tree for some reason.

Roxas was a hundred percent sure that Xemnas had finally become completely insane.

"Stupid tree should just fall already!" Zexion complained. "I don't have much popcorn left and I don't wanna make more!"

"I think this is gonna last for a long time", Marluxia said. "Xemnas is too busy with experimenting."

"Then you finally got another member for the Losers' Club – you always lose at Poker when you play it with Luxord and Xemnas is unable to win this battle against a bloody tree", Zexion shot back at him.

"Shut it, Shorty. I thought you're drunk on sugar already."

"Well forgive me for not being drunk on sugar, LOLZCB."  
"What does 'lolz' mean?"

"Laughing Out Loud Z, Cherry Boy."

"Sounds stupid", Marluxia said in a bored tone.

"I agree, it does", Zexion said, and then swore. "My popcorn is gone. Oh well, time to eat some sugar then..." he added as he pulled out a candy bag from his bottomless pocket.

"You eat too much candy", Demyx critisized.

"Pfft, my teeth still exists in my mouth", Zexion said.

"Well, don't miss them when you wanna smile and can't because there's nothing to show people", Demyx said.

They were interrupted by loud cursing and everyone turned to look – Xemnas was holding onto one of the branches as the tree swung from side to side dangerously.

"Let go, Xemnas!" Xaldin told him.

Xemnas did so, and probably later wished he hadn't because branch swung back up and then back down with force and hit him right into the upper back. Xemnas found himself laying his face slammed against the floor. As he tried to get back up, the violent branch got stuck on the hood of his coat and threw him head first into the roof. He fell back to the floor unconcious.

"MY BELOVED FOOD!" Xaldin's voice rang through the room.

Christmas Tree began to fall right into the table he had set up for everyone. Xaldin used his wind element and spears to protect the dishes but he only caused more chaos as the little tornado he created sucked everyone into it. Roxas found himself – along with the sofa – in the corridor. He could easily see DiZ fly past him towards the nearby stairs.

Xaldin soon appeared at the doorway, and was covered up in food.

"You idiot!" Roxas yelled. "Did you ever think that your element might have a effect on us, too!?"

"I'm sorry, but the food..." Xaldin sighed. "I didn't even write down the recipes so I could remake them!"

"Wow, that's your definition of a apocalypse?" Zexion snorted as he threw away the popcorn bowl that had been on his head. He's hair was also soaking wet from all the Pepsi that had flown over him.

"Don't EVER do that AGAIN!" Larxene – who was also soaking wet from Pepsi – yelled furiously.

"I said I was sorry!" Xaldin said.

"I think arguing isn't going to save us", Axel interrupted them. "Let's just clean up and call it a day."

"What are these weird looking heart shaped stains on the floor anyway?" Xigbar asked. "How long has these been here?"

"Let's just clean up this place before Saïx decides to become a boss again..." Axel mumbled.

"Hey, could someone help me out of here?" DiZ's voice from somewhere above.

Roxas looked up and saw the man hanging on top of a pole upside down. Luxord and Axel climbed up the pole in order to help him out – while the others pushed the sofa underneath him so he wouldn't break his neck. Once DiZ was freed, he made a weird looking flip in the air and fell onto the sofa safely.

"Okay, let's clean up the place", man in red said calmly.

"I hate clean ups", Larxene complained.

"Me too. It makes my hands dirty", Zexion agreed.

They heard a giggle come from the room they had celebrated Christmas – Roxas noticed that everything there was messy and Xemnas laid there in the middle of everything while the Christmas Tree was covered in food. He also noticed that all the gifts that had been unwrapped had been crashed as the tree fell onto the floor.

"How did you like my little prank?" asked Vexen, who came out of the room.

"Oh my God, it was you who fucked up!?" Larxene yelled. "This is all your fault!

"Yeah, it is. It was hilarious", Vexen said and laughed.

"You're helping us to clean up this shit!" Larxene went on. "Don't even think of running away because I will make you suffer!"

As she spoke, she pulled out a brush and handed it over to the crazy scientist.

"Start cleaning, slave", Larxene told him.

And Vexen did so – as did everyone else as well on that day.

 **The Aftermath (Epilogue)**

"I HATE CHRISTMAS!" Xemnas yelled. "I will NEVER let you do this AGAIN!"

"That's exactly what you say after every Christmas and still let us have a party. It's your own fault, Xemnas", Saïx tried to reason with him.

Xemnas shot him a glare and then turned his attention to the group that had brought the 'Killer Christmas Tree' into the castle, "Why did you bring that murderous plastic piece of shit here?"

"Ohh... it was Vexen's fault", Axel said. "Besides, why do you yell at me? I was ordered to buy presents, not fetch a murderous tree. The ones you gotta blame is that group", he added and pointed at the other group – all of it's members had a look of shame on their faces.

"I think Vexen ran away. I saw him outside two hours ago. He was holding two handbags", Zexion answered.

"When my leg is healed, I'm gonna hunt him down and hurt him! That piece of shit crossed the line this time!" Xemnas fumed on and hit the blanket he was covered up with.

"You need to calm down, Xemnas. You might break your leg again", Xaldin said calmly. "Also, I'm sure Vexen isn't going return to us until you've calmed down."

"You seriously think that Vexen's gonna stay out of his laboratory of torture for _six months,_ Xaldin?" Zexion asked. "Don't be a retard."

"I've decided to ignore you, little guy", Xaldin informed him.

Zexion snorted and left Xemnas' room.

Xemnas had woken up from his sleep after countless hours had passed. At that moment, Axel had successfully burnt down the murderous tree – which screamed in pain as it burned down – and it smelt so bad that Xemnas had lost his conciousness again. While he had been unconcious, other members had decided to take him to his room and check his wounds. He had a broken leg, hand and ribs, not to mention the wound on his head which had been covered up with a My Little Pony patch.

At that time Vexen had still been in the castle, but once he learned that Xemnas knew what he had done to trigger Xemnas' usual Christmas angry outburst, crazy scientist packed his bags and ran – priceless. Of course, as Vexen had ran out of the castle, he had yelled,

"I'm gonna return and then I'm gonna beat you all up, you little omelettes!"

At least that's what Zexion had told everyone since he had been the last one to actually talk to Vexen before he's departure.

"Do me a favor and go look for that bastard for me", Xemnas fumed. "I can't leave this goddamn bed for weeks!"

Everyone nodded – except Naminé – nodded and left the room. In the corridor they got a reminder of the unfinished clean up because there was so much stuff they hadn't done yet and it looked like it would be left unfinished now that Xemnas wanted everyone to hunt down Vexen.

 _I think we shouldn't leave this like this,_ thought Axel.

But thinking turned out to be a mistake – he stumbled on the stairs and fell down followed by a pile of soaking wet mops and buckets full of dirty water. All of that fell on the redhead who felt disgusted because some of that water had found its way into his mouth and it tasted _horrible!_

"You're so unlucky", Zexion critisized his misfortune.

"Shut up, Ion. You have no idea how disgusting this is."

"Oh, we finally have a carpet", Xigbar commented.

"Why do you talk like Zexion? That's so out of character for you, Xigbar", Axel asked.

"I absolutely admire his sarcastic comments on everything. I don't want to be like him though. Everyone would want to kill me if they had two Zexions here..."

"They won't kill me, and they won't kill you", Zexion said. "Also, you need lessons on sarcasm, Xigbar. You suck at it."

"Why don't you two go study sarcasm then?" Axel suggested after another attempt at trying to stand up on the slippery floor. Instead, he just crawled away on all fours.

"I get a deja vu feeling from this", Xigbar said.

"So do I. He does that every time he's gotten drunk from salty liquorice", Zexion agreed. "I can't believe I agree on something with you... I must have been idiotified."

"This isn't the only time I've been right though", Xigbar defended himself.

"Like when?"

"Last year when I said that Roxas will drive over someone, and he did so."

"Xemnas or Vexen?"

"Xemnas."

"Wrong. It was Vexen."

"No, it was–"

"What are you arguing about here, kids?" asked DiZ curious voice. "Problems in a paradise?"

"Wha–? Why do you say something stupid like that?" Zexion said. "You're a old dirty pervert!"

"No, it's all about impressions, kids."

"We aren't kids", Xigbar protested.

"You obviously have some weird ideas of people around you, DiZ. I think you suffer from that Wannabe Pervert Syndrome Deluxe XXVII", Zexion said.

"What a creative name for my so called syndrome, little boy", DiZ said. "But I'm afraid that you're incorrect. I don't have that syndrome."

"This guy is nuts", Xigbar said.

"I know. Let's just leave him here. Maybe he'll leave the castle eventually", Zexion said.

"Yeah, just like Sora, Kairi and Riku did."

"Exactly."

And with that the duo turned their backs on DiZ and left him stand alone in the middle of the mess – which he did not even notice until his socks got soaking wet.

 _A/N: So, now it's finished. At last. Took me 6 months to finish it although I originally had planned to translate it as soon as possible during summer but oh well, shit happens. But at least I'm finally done with this and I can move onto the other projects. :)_

 _And, lastly, MERRY CHRISTMAS to everyone. :)_


End file.
